Dear God

Dear God,
I hear there's something really big You want to show me.
Well, that's great, cuz I'm tired of feeling lonely.
Because the truth is
I'm tired of feeling worthless,
I need to be reminded
That I have a purpose.

We walk the earth in certain confusion.
And half of us don't even care
what we're doing here.
I make mistakes,
I frequently fall from grace,
If I don't belong here,
I need to know I have a place
Somewhere Else.

Tell me this is not all there is.
Tell me life is more than getting A+ on a quiz.
I feel caged by expectations,
grades, examinations,
the range of practical occupations.

I feel like I'm a lost soul stretched out in limbo,
Hanging there for want of knowledge
Of the things I don't know.

I never knew that I'd be
friendless at fifteen,
senseless at sixteen,
stressed out at seventeen.

I don't understand the world that you placed me in.
There's so much evil inside it, and good hardly wins.
I get frustrated,
People make me agitated,
School sucks, life sucks,
and it hates me, and I hate it back.

People don't believe me when I say I'm really sad.
They say it's just a phase and that it'll pass.
But I always feel hopeless,
No one's willing to listen.
I think I'm breaking apart,
and it makes me want to scream:

"Dear God!"
I wanted to kill myself before I died.
The road was too long, and I just felt too tired.
It's hard being misunderstood
When you don't understand yourself,
And life is hard,
Dear God!

I don't know who I was meant to be -
a famous name or another record in history.
My life is a muddle of discarded rubble,
And what's relevant to me is a mystery.
Dear God.

Orchestrator of all things,
Were you waiting for me to get low?
I know I'm not sane, but I'm sober,
And the journey isn't over.
This is a pause in the road
To give my heart back to its owner.

*heartbeat*

Dear God,
Take my heart and make me whole.
Dear God,
I beg you to restore my hope.
I don't know where I'm going,
I'm confused and it's showing.
And I'm tired of trying to steer, so
Jesus take the wheel.

Dear God,
It's to You that I'm trying to speak.
Dear God.
Jesus are you listening?
Dear God,
I'm about to seal my letter,
And I pray that things will get better.

...Dear God.

[Tronomie]
I gave you my reply
Before your prayer was sent
My answer plain in words
You have already read
My child of purpose
Though you don't understand
Everything works out
For your good in the end
So love me
So love me
So love me...