David Wainwright’s Feet

Peter’s on his skateboard
Ryan’s on his bike
Steven’s over there with his older brother Mike
Robert’s gone to Snowdon, leaving me to muse
Measurement paramount when choosing boots and shoes

Corns and blisters
Bunions and warts
David Wainwright’s all out of sorts
Laura Morgan skips down the street
Laura Morgan cares for her feet

I remember clearly how it all began
I was in the precinct, shopping with my Nan
Saw the latest trainers and pestered like a fly
They didn’t have my size but I still got them and that’s why

Corns and blisters
Bunions and warts
David Wainwright’s all out of sorts
Laura Morgan skips down the street
Laura Morgan cares for her feet

Hammer toe horrendous, wincing with the pain
Told-you-so chiropodist telling me again
“Treat your feet with kindness, treat them with respect”
And even though he stinks of gin, I know that he’s correct

Corns and blisters
Bunions and warts
David Wainwright’s all out of sorts
Laura Morgan skips down the street
Laura Morgan cares for her feet