Cursed

[Intro: Frederick Loren]
It's a pity you didn't know when you started your game of murder...
That I was playing too

[Verse 1]
Ether in my fuckin soul
My family sees the demons in me when they're juxtaposed
Still ain't convinced my wounds are bleeding when you cut my throat
Been in denial since a child 'bout my ugly tropes
I'm stagnated, been in stuck in place for my whole life
Ashamed of letting depression win, but it feels nice
I picked up rap as a map to follow when insecure
And quickly it turned into another way to act immature
Panic attack, panic attack
I had my fair share at school and I ain't having 'em back
So I ain't applying for jobs, shit, I ain't going outside
I'm doomed to sit here in my room until I roll up and die
I'm doomed to carry an еxistence that I know don't mean shit
And pick apart opponеnts when I know I'm broke as it gets
And try to edge my focus toward bein' the sickest there is
On the off chance that I get big and I can live, but

[Chorus]
I shouldn't let them figure me out
Almost had the words to say it at the tip of my mouth
I don't want this insignia now
Almost found a bit of light until I circled around
I shouldn't let them figure me out
Almost had the words to say it at the tip of my mouth
I don't want this insignia now
Almost found a bit of light until I circled around again

[Verse 2]
I ain't remotely what the kid me saw adult me as
Shit, if he saw me, he'd be calling me a pompous ass
I'm the most insecure person I've ever met at all
But still can't shake this ego just because it makes a better song
I wonder if my friendships all would be the same
If I could maybe be the face to trust instead of bein' blamed
If I never adopted this tough guy shit
Maybe I'd be happy and actually someone I'd respect
And I don't talk to my family now and that's fair enough
'Cause ain't no church did me any good, it only flared me up
And I don't think I'm scared of dying 'cause I still ain't livin'
I just think I'm scared of tryin' hard and getting rigid
But lately what I'm finding is that now this shit's a given
Everything I try will just be snipped to ribbons
Another thing I learned is I ain't cursed at all
The truth is that I cursed myself on purpose, now I'm perched to fall

[Chorus]
I shouldn't let them figure me out
Almost had the words to say it at the tip of my mouth
I don't want this insignia now
Almost found a bit of light until I circled around
I shouldn't let them figure me out
Almost had the words to say it at the tip of my mouth
I don't want this insignia now
Almost found a bit of light until I circled around again

[Outro]
...Shouldn't let them figure me out
Almost had the words to say it at the tip of my-
Yeah, yeah, yeah
...This insignia now
Almost found a bit of light until i circled ar-
Yeah, yeah
I shouldn't let them figure me out
Almost had the words to say it at the tip of my mouth
I don't want this insignia now
Almost found a bit of light until I circled around
Yeah