Creative Drug

I'm not allowed to miss anyone I willingly left
I thrive and I'm alone and right now I'm vigorous
I have eyes for everyone and I write in lines of drugs 'cause I use you like I use this
To hide from the light and moon like an addict
So please, so please, so please
So please let me wipe my feet off on your cheek before I enter your open mind
Which just so happens to be an open wound
And just so happens to be just for me
And I just so happen to forget what happens to you when you're figuring out that you're being used

The lightbulb always comes too late, like I've already burned my escape
And escaped
I never asked for this cape to be pinned to my back but it covers up the fingernail graves and I like the way that makes me feel so I let you let me keep it intact

Dressing up my feelings as fact
You slip the black mask over my face
That's when I learned that great minds think alike
But bad minds think exactly the same
We use each other in bad taste
And I can't change, you can't change
You can't change, you can't change
And I can't change your mind, but I can change your clothes
And I can't make things right but I can get close
I told myself to never write about love
I told myself to stick to what I know
But the more I learn, the more I learn how much I don't

My desire to create and get higher suppresses my urge to want to die right here, to die right now
I want to bury my pain into something and someone else
I'm always looking for an outlet
A being or thing to love
A new outlet for my suffering
Chopping up the latest creative drug and I take it to the brain when I breathe it in
The steam, the trip, the energy I get, it's only for one moment
It's strange using your arm like an eight ball
And using you like a one-night stand
And most people won't understand
That my day job is rehab and I don't wanna be sober
I don't wanna get to know her
I just wanna unknow myself and be reminded later
It's always darkest before the dawn
But it's darker with sunglasses on
But I wear 'em on in inside because when I create I'm an insomniac
And everyone thinks I'm on crack
But fuck it, what's the difference?

Dependence is dependence, it depends on the way you look at it
An addict is an addict
And I can't live without it, I don't know how to live without it
I don't know how to function
I'm not somewhere that I haven't been and I'm not good at being home, and I'm not good at sitting still
And my soul has ADHD and I'm definitely mentally ill
And I don't have a prescription for script, I can fill it out for myself
The street runs for street drugs and I think think this street leads straight to hell
And I'm on a streak of losing so inevitably time will tell
But I'll tell that I'm telling you that I really don't miss my old self
Or any of the ones that have abused me
Because I'm not allowed to
I left 'em so
Willingly