Brain Cell

My brain is a god awful place
Where I take these things the world gives me
And I change them into something they're not
It's a cage like studio apartment
With two windows to Babylon and perfect acoustics
And you can hear the distant sound of sirens
That everyone finds unsettling
But I find more discomfort in silence like
Nobody's coming
Nobody can save me from myself

I'm a convict in my own brain cell
And imprisonment of negative thought that I've brought upon myself with nothing to do but peel my skin from front to back and crack my fucking skull in half
Just so that you could believe me that
Hell is under my hair

And I swear I'm gonna lose it
My life is all but lucid
I might be locked up for life if I don't find a sole solution
For the bane of my existence
I resist to solicit and sell myself for someone else
Tell you it's me
When it fucking isn't

Cause I am the prisoner
And I am the prison

With a sinister view of the wasteland we live in
Where sleepwalkers and ghost
That most definitely exist
Their casuals, casualties and religious obituary abyss

But I guess
Some black holes stay black
And some dark souls stay dark
And everyone casts a shadow
And every shadow has a start
And it's where the body ends
And it's there when the body expires
Burn in the wicked wickedness
Until it runs out of fire
But evil is infinite
Even if you don't believe in it

You could try to summon the demons from inside of me
But I perform my own exorcist
When I was possessed and paralyzed
By your paraphrased gospel lines
I already tried to commit suicide
So I consider this my afterlife
And I fall from the grace of God tower twice
Just so you could watch me die
On your way to salvation
I lay on cracked pavement
Dead
In my mind

But I always wake up from those little death daydreams
By the alarm of the ambulance
Disrupting the ambiance of the deceased
I'm losing regulation of was is and isn't imaginary
And if it's real in my head
How is that not reality
Because it feels as real as low the bow for love

And when the future devolves into the past
When everything you've every had is stolen
And your left swollen and trapped in the entombment of your own skull

Left to overthink, sink and soak
In the hole you fall deeper and deeper
And as you acknowledge its control
By how faith can be a tool to taunt
Like a guardian angel that only haunts the life that only though to be as thin as you thoughts

My brain is a god awful place
And I created it myself to be
A brain hell
Inmate
And there is no way out