Cousin Randy

Spoken:

"Many people have many definitions of what family is
Some say it's blood, some say it's a bond
Some say it's a bond made with blood
Well, this is the story of Cousin Randy
Cousin Randy, six-foot-seven cyco muthafucka
Locked down half his life
He's my family, family by blood
And if you see him, don't look at him long
'Cause he'll kill ya, in a second, and it wouldn't be the first time
Cousin Randy..."

He'd disappear for years, then one day he would just show
Dad would buy him shoes, give him $50 and he'd go
He talked about the good days of war in Vietnam
Did two tours of duty with his new love heroin

You knew he'd be convicted before he was ever tried
Did his time in Chino, then Folsom and Wayside
But every day was prison, molested as a kid
Abused by his stepfather, hard to believe the things he did

We call him Cousin Randy

Couldn't get up in the morning, couldn't get to sleep at night
Swore the room was full of Demons, but nothin' was in our sight
No one was safe when Randy came out to play
He would leave you for dead and then just walk away

We call him Cousin Randy

One time while at Grandma's, it was getting kind of late
Randy stayed outside 'cause his odor was so great
He walked out of the door and I told him "good night"
He charged me, grabbed my neck and he started squeezing tight
Dad and Jim and Grandpa jumped on to his back
He screamed "What's so good about it" before he let up his attack
The next day, while we were swimming, he tried to drown my sister
Laughing as she struggled, then he pulled her up and kissed her

We call him Cousin Randy
To us, he's just Cousin Randy

Spoken:

"Yeah, so when Cousin Randy wasn't in jail, he used to trip around
Sometimes showin' up at the relatives house, hangin' for a while then leavin'
You know, everybody feelin' sorry for him and shit, 'cause, you know
His mom died when he was so young of leukemia
Well one time while he was staying at my grandfather's house, you know
They were trying to help him out, gettin' him jobs, but you know
Randy wasn't too much on workin'
He had a one job he did longer than ever
He never worked more than two days, but this job he lasted a week
Yeah, it was taking the heads off o'chickens
So one day my grandfather had to ask him, seein' how Randy would get up early in the morning
Make his lunch and he'd even go to work early, he was like 'Randy, what's so great about this job?'
He says 'It makes ya think, it makes ya wonder, i's just so expanding of the mind
Ya see, there I am, I rip the head off the chicken, and then the chicken starts flyin' all over
Then he comes back at me, and I wonder is he flyin' back at me 'cause he's mad 'cause I ripped his head off
Or is he flyin' at me 'cause I'm holdin' his head in my hand
Or is he flyin' at me 'cause he can't see where he's goin'?"

Yeah, ain't no one seen Cousin Randy in many years..."