Coolin’

[Louis Prima]
Take it easy, honey
I don't want you to work that hard

[Keely Smith]
Huh, huh! Doesn't he look like the Indian on the nickel?
I wish he was the buffalo!

[Louis Prima]
When she gets home, she's dead. Believe me

[Keely Smith]
That's the only way we can start even. Believe me!

[Louis Prima]
Now relax, babe

Now, ladies and gentlemen, uh, uh, Sam Butera, uh, this fella
He has a little story to tell ya in the form of a letter
Uh, which concerns a trip that we made, uh, recently
Sam and I, we had our vacation, uh, and we went off alone, him and me
And, uh, and he explains everything in the letter
It was about two and a half months ago...

[The Witnesses]
...weeks ago

[Louis Prima]
It was about five months ago...

[The Witnesses]
Seven
Nine, nine, nine months ago
Eight months ago

[Louis Prima]
It was seven and a half months ago...

[The Witnesses]
Eleven months ago

[Louis Prima]
It was thirteen years and a half ago
We was little children, remember? We ran away from home!
And Sam, we went off on two mules, man
Anyway, Sam and I, we made this little trip, folks
We had this little, uh, vacation, and him and I, we went to the Orient
We had a lot of, uh, lot of fun and a lot of surprises
And the biggest surprise came when the plane landed in
Tel Aviv
You're laughin', but that was a swingin' place, Tel Aviv
It was! A couple of cats from the Hot Club of Israel met us at the plane
Remember the little fella with the continental yarmulke?
And the other kid was from Shule
He says, "I've just come from the cool Shule, man!"
He had a loaf of pumpernickel under one arm
He was carryin' a string of kosher pork sausage in the other hand
He had two pocketful of, uh, matzo ball
All different flavors
And he says "we dig you cats from Las Vegas"
And he, he called out to Sam
He says "Samala! We're gonna..."
He said "we're gonna take you all in the Jeep"
We got in the Jeep, they took us to the hotel
Set us up in a couple of rooms
Sam had his own room, and I had my own room
And I was alone in my room
I had to say that 'cause you got a bad reputation, boy!
About six o'clock that evenin', I heard a knock on my door
And it was Sam, he was saying "Laybala! Laybala!"
He called me Laybala!
I says "who's that?" He says "this is Samala"
"Now what's on your mind"
He says "man, I dig this place the most, and I'm all excited and I wanna become converted"
But we couldn't find Sammy Davis Jr. to get the okay, huh?
I said "what else is worryin' ya, Samala?" He had me talkin' that way
He says, "well, you know the little fella with the pumpernickel? His name was Herschel"
I said "yeah?"
He says "well, he invite us to a swingin' place out in the desert, and he told me that we were gonna go dig some folklore"
I said "well, Samala, I don't know nothin' about the law"
Now, don't get ahead of us, folks!
Okay, so we went out to this little place, and when we came back, Sam had a, uh
He wrote a letter to a friend of ours here in Las Vegas

Now, you can leave off "Dear Mo"
Just take it from where it says "they told us where, comma"
"They told us where, comma." Make the commas, man
Get in close so they can hear you

[Sam Butera]
They told us where
And off we went
And when we got there
It was a tent
And we gave the word
And they let us in
And all we did
Was give some skin

But we kept coolin', coolin'
We was scared and we ain't foolin'
But, man, we soon regained control
'Cause the password was

[Louis Prima]
Braciole!

Right in the middle of the desert, braciole
Place was full of delizianos, wasn't it?
There were seven marinated pizze, little dollar size
With gefilte fish on top, smothered. Smothered with fish
And they gave us a couple of jars of rogotto
In case we got asciutta from the gefilte

Tell 'em about the band!

[Sam Butera]
Upon a stand
Sat forty cats
A crazy band
In turban hats
Thirty drums
And seven flutes
Three French horns
And one cucuzz'

But we kept coolin', coolin'
Figured we would get some schoolin'
The leader waved a lightnin' rod
And then they played

[Louis Prima]
Scheherazade

Tell them the part now. Shhh!

[Sam Butera]
The lights grew dim
And a chick came on
And she looked at him
And he was gone

[Louis Prima]
Whoooooo!

[Sam Butera]
I was a wreck
Began to shake
Around her neck
She wore a snake

But we kept coolin', coolin'
While she kept on a-hula-hulin'
She called that snake by name, I swear
And the reptile's name was

[Louis Prima]
Lucky Pierre!

[Sam Butera]
No, no, no, no! That's a shame! Ha ha!

[Louis Prima]
Come on, read it

[Sam Butera]
This crazy dame
Was flyin' sails
And around her frame
Were seven veils

[Louis Prima]
Whoooooo!

[Sam Butera]
And she danced
I bit my nails
And then she advanced
And dropped two veils

But we kept coolin', coolin'
With our eyes, we kept on duellin'
She said to him "je t'adore"
He grooved, then whispered

[Louis Prima]
Take off more!

Come on, man

[Sam Butera]
She never stopped
And danced toward me
And then she dropped
Veil number three

I told that frail
"I dig that jive!"
And then she took off veils
Four and five

And we were drooling, drooling
All at once we weren't cooling, ha ha!
There was no time for politics
So she took off veil

[Louis Prima]
Number six
One more

[Sam Butera]
One more! Ha ha! One more! Ha ha!

[Louis Prima]
Come on, one more! Don't lose the place, man

[Sam Butera]
She reached my side
And I was in heaven
And then I cried
"COME ON, SEVEN!"
HA HA, HA HA

[Louis Prima]
Come on, man
He's laughin', but he ain't happy!
Wait 'til you hear the PS
Tell 'em, tell 'em the PS, man!

[Sam Butera]
The seventh veil
Concealed her face
And she took it off
And played her ace

And we stopped droolin', droolin'
All at once we weren't coolin'
The chick who was a question mark
Turned out to be

[Louis Prima]
Wilbur Clark!

[Sam Butera]
Ha ha! Wilbur Clark