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Malkmus excitedly tells a story of a rich man who inherits valuable land that is well kept and nice for those in the settlement to live. He turns it to shit to try to save money, and everyone become unhappy. Having run it into the ground, he tries to sell it but can’t find takers, so to save face a...
[Chorus]
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin' and I'll try
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin' and I'll try
[Verse 1]
Imagine if you will, a Herr Proctor, alias and nobleman
Son of son of sky, and of scion
Part of his rich inheritance parceled and generous divorce
Sentence forthwith being
Certain blocks of land and living quarters
Deemed by all gentlemen and wives thereof
To be "Grossly humane and frankly, quite undirty"
[Chorus]
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin' and I'll try
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin' and I'll try
[Verse 2]
Herr Proctor, in his enviable good taste
Tries quick escape gambit via local periodicals
But no takers - the land, unenvied
Stationed in the conduit between two cells
A veritable no-man's-land, array of the flophouse
Cardboard materials and carbon-monoxide wallpaper
All his brig-deck Torino boys ask is irrelevant
[Chorus]
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin' and I'll try
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin' and I'll try
[Verse 3]
(No one's gonna save me, no one's gonna make me rearrange)
Unable to bear the scandal, Ray, philanthropist
Rents low-down scab house in conduit
Herr Proctor offers said land for a song
But no one wants to sing (No one's gonna save me, no one's gonna make me rearrange)
In an attempt to retain social privileges, yet mask it as goodwill
He says to the conduit members
"Take this rotten old tree and make it bear fruit"
Cheers erupted throughout the clean settlement
An Italian male was heard to say
"Between here and there is better than either here or there"
[Chorus]
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin' and I'll try
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin' and I'll try
[Outro]
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
I'm tryin', I'm tryin', I'm tryin'
Conduit for Sale! was written by Stephen Malkmus.
Conduit for Sale! was produced by Pavement.
Pavement released Conduit for Sale! on Mon Apr 20 1992.