Christmas is Melting Me

[Verse 1]
They’re calling it a comeback
Christmas won the war
Daddy had a heart attack like Christmases before
Chanukah isn’t even spoken about
8 Days would take this family out
Festivus is merely a meme
So the Atheists can put a little eggnog in their bloodstream
We’ve got racists and fascist and homophobic uncles and aunts
Stuffing themselves and splitting their pants
And then I see a child prance, presents under the tree

[Refrain]
And Christmas begins melting me
And Christmas begins melting me

[Chorus]
Elder millennial malaise, notwithstanding
I’m a sucker for yuletide branding
Nice of you to join us at the table, he has risen
Get your diploma
Make bettter decisions
Impending divorce, unwed father to be
The holidays give all your dirty secrets amnesty
But every December 19th or so, Christmas begins melting me

[Verse 2]
Complacent and stagnant
The patriarchs telegraphing their stance
Sunning themselves, they drink into trance
But then I see by random chance, the wrapping paper debris

[Refrain]
And Christmas begins melting me

[Chorus]
Perfect cousins seeking praise, waists expanding
I keep working towards understanding
Nice of you to join us at the table, he has risen
Now serve your masters
Eat my derision
Second houses foreclosed, bought a lemon jetski
The Christmas sprit sets all of my dirty secrets free
Well, every December 19th or so, Christmas begins melting me (Christmas begins melting me)
Well, every December 19th or so, Christmas begins melting me (Christmas begins melting me)
Well, every December 19th or so, Christmas begins melting me