Childhood

[Verse 1] My momma told me when I popped out of the womb I was big as a maaa
Bruh and ever since two Ive been rolling around like the pigs in the mud
My family acknowledged this child was a problem suprised that they still showed me love
Yeah and that all continued throughout elementary but man I was young
Well listen man once I was two my grandma started bringing me out to the church
I guess I was supposed to be christian but those contradiction would make my head hurt
I wanted to feel holy spirits, interpretate the tongues and increase my self worth
Though no one would answer my questions, I followed tradition and made it all work
In my head, but then I turned seven
And I just remember my mom bringing me to the library
Every two weeks we would get books to read just so I could expand my vocabulary
One day I found something I wasn't expecting
A book about extra
Terrestrial, first hand encounters, etcetera
Even gets worst when its labelled true story, sheesh
My momma said they ain't exist
So the bubble I lived in was suddenly popped
I dont know whats real or whats not
All I know is deep down that I live in a box
Just a young kid tryna figure it out
By nine the internet's where I went missing
Got sucked into the global village
From researching bout 'luminati to different dimensions, my interest had shifted
Tryna find how this all mix with religion
Can't find this in none of the scriptures
And my momma just say im too gullible, guess thats what happens when you ain't got siblings
But still my childhood was ill
Just a little confused
Had recess with my dudes, them kids on the block everytime we would chill
Had conrows, thats the throwback
Yeah not many know that
I was reckless, I was so bad
Had detentions, but had no class
Hit my momma like sorry to call again
Your kids acting out again
I dont know what his problem is
He been hanging around in the halls again
It was fifth grade when I met Blaze
We would rap at the churches
For a sec we were conscious but back to our nonsense right after the service
You'd never know if you just glanced at the surface
That I was a kid that was hurting
Between searching for purpose, not cursing and tryna be perfect
Was tired of working
Was tied up in all of society's curses
You would never tell
Cause that smile it never failed
And them eyes ain't never teared
I guess Kyle was a man of steel
Im surprised that I managed still
Because freshmen year
It was unforgiven
Had copped the freshest pair of some Js
That just wasn't real
And they snapped a picture
Uh that year was a see saw
Same year lost my v-card
Bus to Boston just to see Tar
Homie JL sung on three songs
Word to sarubeatz, imma do me
First hit song, now they knew me
Got on worldstar, got some groupies
Oh my god, this the new me
Now every girl, every dude in that school knew my name
Sheesh, No longer a shadow but rather just getting adjusted to fame
Sheesh, my city it loved me, my teachers they loved me, the chicas they loved me
Yeah But I still ain't love me, the public ain't know me, nah they just knew of me
But whatever, man later that year I hooked up with some seniors
Fell in love with a senior
I was young, I was eager
And in love with her features
I got way too deep, my heart broke down to pieces
I guess there's a reason for everything
Cause though I ain't give her her wedding ring
She taught me something no one ever did
And thats nothing is gon last forever man
Thats the summer that I first heard Ab-Soul
He taught me bout dimethyltryptamine
I kept listening to control system
I can't trust everything on my tv screen
Started getting back into them deeper things
Tryna find out what the meaning is
Started researching ancient knowledge
About higher conscience
And pineal glands
That started a new chapter
My book was just getting better
I was getting older
I was digging deeper
I wanted to know all the world's biggest secrets
So I started reading bout them psychedelics
And I learned it could get rid of all your demons
Even meditated almost every second just to understand life and it's deeper meanings
I kept pushing limits
I was so relentless
No one had the answers
Had to go and get it
They said God's a gift
That was never present
Back when I was desperate for a clearer message
That was all perception
Now I know that we all connected
But not before after I drank ayahuascha
Learned more bout myself than I ever questioned
Here's the benediction

[Chorus] Woah woah woah woah open ya eyes up
Cause we only know what our parents told us, and Im just hoping youll wise up
Cause this angry world is just a reflection of everything raging inside us
We all got problems, and it's hard to hide em, and they start from childhood