Chapter 6 - The Mess

I sit coldy in a tavern in Novigrad
Drowning in drink and conversation the patrons have
The snake-eyed Witcher and I have long since parted ways
I just figured I would waste the gold in my final days
With every coin i drunkenly fumble onto the table for refills
I'm haunted by knowing this metal got my family killed
And lately I've only been reminiscing on prejudice
The lengths that people go to protect their town and its residents
And how the moment a different creature rides through the gates
The people band together just to scoff in his face
Its funny, I raised my son aware of drowners and ghouls and drakes
And yet he died knowing the true monsters exist in his race
I'm pleading, if it is these words that you are reading
No matter the slums that you reside in you are still breathing
No matter the fate you are confined to you are still breathing
I've learned this lesson watching my family get ripped to pieces
I've learning this lesson cutting the throat of he who deceived me
I've learned this lesson drowning in deprivation of sleeping
Oh how I wish my wife would have just talked me out of leaving
Oh how I wish the poverty had never made me greedy

I swear if i had a second chance, though
I would see the beauty in all i could get my hands on
I would never let the greed get the best of me
I would teach my son to be all that he wants to be
Tell me, whats the reason to beg to the gods above?
If we look hard enough the heaven they reside in is all around us
Why is it that we ride on the tails of blind faith?
Inside all of us is every force that determines our fate

Guess I never really had the time to think about it
All this time that I've been obsessed with getting revenge
A mere couple months I've tried to go without you two
I think its time I bring this emptiness on to its end
Here I am down to my last golden pieces
Making sure I've slept inside the bed made by my sins
Here I am I swear my liver has since turned to dust
Here I am hiding out from my Black Knight friends
Even they do no know the furthest reaches of Velen
Its only right that I rot, lost in No Man's Land
I bet my snake-eyed friend has killed a thousand drowners
Piercing their flesh with the final work of these old hands
I remember a time when it was simpler
I remember when we were young and innocent
We used to play as children in the woods near the village
We were numb to the hanging bodies and their scent
I've been in love with you since long before i knew what it was
I swear I never thought that this is how it all would end
You were there the very day that they hung my father
You were the only one to make me feel safe again
On the day that I was born was the death of my mother
A mere orphan, it was your family that took me in
I remember when i started heating steel for the knights
You used to say that you would help me in any way you can
I guess we thought the Black Knights would stop coming one day
Yes we hoped and we prayed that one day they'd forget
And as the years passed on and my hands grew callous
I always knew that I would never have freedom again
And as long as you were with me no neither would you
I guess I should have made you leave so you can have a chance
And then my selfishness grew into desperation
It was then that i thought that we should have a kid

As I watched you both grow to hate my guts
I fucking panicked trying to find a way that I can make it up
By then it was broken, oh i was years too late
My family would never ever leave this place
Tell me what it is that you would do in my shoes
I know that misery loves its company, don't you?
I guess I can say my son is free from their hands
Never bound by the Black Knights or No Man's Land

I swear if i had a second chance, though
I would see the beauty in all i could get my hands on
I would never let the greed get the best of me
I would teach my son to be all that he wants to be
Tell me, whats the reason to beg to the gods above?
If we look hard enough the heaven they reside in is all around us
Why is it that we ride on the tails of blind faith?
Fuck it, I can't take it. I guess its time I should hang