Car Crash

It was problematic at best to perceive existence
Through the myopic lens I embedded into myself
My lack of gestures limited the effectiveness of my delivery
And all she begged for was deliverance
Just soft, eloquent passages that provided closure
Not answers, just closure
And I somehow fashioned together an array of broken glass
It looked enough like a vase that it would pass
And she would find a way to keep her roses watered and alive again
When deep down I was broken, prized among the lackluster thieves
Immune to pain, but pain by immunity
She beckoned me and she lessened me
'Cause no other love would accommodate my blindfold so easily
And I was afraid to change, but I was afraid of not changing
I was afraid to change, but I was afraid of not changing
Then a quick flood of blood infecting my brain
Dashboard you, dashboard blank slate
My narrow lens no longer mattered, no longer weighed in
And neither did your fear, or your insecurities, or your smile
'Cause in three seconds fate circumvented a concrete divider
Followed by seven seconds of nervous prayer
Nervous cursing, nervous something
As poisonous as the snake it came from
The oppression presented in my godforsaken lies limited me even more
Followed by seven seconds of promising myself
If I survived, I would stop bargaining
I would stop pushing off effort in exchange for more time
I would stop neglecting civil, spiritual, and personal duties
Or promises, which ever it may be
Neither seemed likely at that point
Followed by two seconds, the longest two seconds I've ever experienced
Of lying to myself, lying to my God, and lying to you
The words "I love you" seem so broken, and so inaccurate
And the words "I promise" seemed so trite, and so distant
But so foolish, a passenger caught up in this accident
Nothing mattered beyond the fact that I was damaged
And I was hurting physically
Yet somehow I found the strength to thank my God I was a survivor
And that's when I heard the fate of the driver
Three seconds later, closure, not answers, just closure
Lost in the wreckage as a soul ascended, I love you
Lost in the wreckage as a soul ascended, I love you
And every day, I wish we could trade places
'Cause you were the first person that loved me in any real way
And now I stand six feet above where you lay
And if I get one thing right in this life
I pray that it'll be sharing love with everybody
The same love that you shared with me

You call me down here and I hear your voice
And the sound of my heart breaking
And I pray to God you're still awake

And I taught myself how to forget that sometimes life will try to convince you there's a such thing as regret
But I found it to be a lie, the same lie I found when I looked in your eyes after it was said and done

Scream hallelujah until you come alive
The devil came for our lungs, but he left with our love
Scream hallelujah until you come alive
I inhaled this world for so long that I tore out my lungs