Captain Simms

"What's this next story you're gonna tell us, Mac?"

"Well,  that's an old whaling story, uh, the title, if there is any such [laughing] is Captain Simmonds and Mr. Simms. Y'know at one time there was quite a whaling industry out of, uh, San Francisco, and uh, the old whalers used to get together at a, uh, little bar on- down around, uh [?] and Jackson Street. And, uh, among the sailormen, that vocality was known as 'Portuguese Point' or Cape [?]. On account that a lot of Portuguese lived- er, hung out around there. So, a bunch of these old time whalers were in this bar on one day and, uh, they were talking about whaling men, uh, and the subject of Captain Simmonds came up.

Captain  Simmonds was supposed to have been a pretty hard case, uh, shipmaster, and, uh, so, one of the- one of the men happen to think, he says "Why there, over there by the stove there, is Mr. Simms." He says "He sailed with Captain Simmonds. Did you, Mr. Simms?"

"Why yes," he says, heh, "Sailed with him?" he says, "I was first mate with him on the old Barque Mozambique out on the [?]."

"Well, uh, what can you tell us about him?"

"Well,"  he said, uh, uh, he, uh, was a hard man to get along with, but, uh, I put him in his place and I never had no serious trouble with him. You see, we sailed in the old Mozambique and of course we were on the usual, uh, lay. Every man in the crew got a share, uh, if- in the process of divide, if there was any, and, uh the Mozambique was a good ship, and well-found, but we didn't have no luck. We cruised the whole South Atlantic and we never even sited a fish. We were out of the horn, and into the South Pacific, and the first thing you know, we was eight months out of port and we hadn't struck a fish, and there wasn't a drop of oil in the tanks, and the crew, they was getting anxious.

So  I come on deck one morning to take over the watch, and as I stepped up on deck, the lookout in the [?] sings out, and he says 'She blows!', and I said 'where [?]?'. He says 'Right off the point bow, sir.' And I walk [?] and I says, 'Uh, Captain Simmonds, [?] she blows. Shall I lower?'. And, uh, Captain Simmonds, he looks aloft, and, uh, we was, under [?] and he said, uh, 'Mr. Simms, [?], and I don't see fittin' to endanger the lives of no seamen, so I won't lower.'

So I walk forward, and the lookout sings out again and he says 'She breaches!' And I walk [?] and I says 'Captain Simmonds,' says I, 'she blows and she breaches. Now shall I lower?' And he looks aloft again and he says 'Mr. Simms, I told you, it's a blowin [?]. I don't see fittin' to endanger the lives of no seamen and I won't lower.'

So  I walk forward, and the lookout sings out again and he says 'Mr. Simms,' says he, 'She's sperm'. And I walks [?]. And I says 'Captain Simmonds,' says I, 'She's a... sperm.' I said, 'She leaps, she blows, she breaches, we're out eight months and not a drop of oil in the tank. Now God dammit shall I lower?' Well, he looks aloft again and he paces back and forth across the deck- eh- quarter deck and he says to me 'Mr. Simms,' says he, 'I told you twice already that it's still a-blowin' [?] and I don't see fit to endanger the lives of no seamen in this sea. But, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll heave two and if you want to lower, lower and be good God damned to ya.'

So I lower. Well, we chased that critter for the best part of the first [?], and we couldn't lay along side her. And finally, I says to the boys in the boat that near broke their backs, and I says 'I guess I'll have to pitchpoler,' or make a long dart and that meant throwin' the harpoon from a distance. So I stepped into the bowel of the boat and I put the [?] of the harpoon in the palm of my hand, and I says, uh, 'Boys, I'm the best god damned man at a long dart that ever sailed out of [?] shall I sock it to her?' And they said, 'Sock it to her Mr. Simms' and I did and by God, she tugged.

Well, there we was [?] to that whale, and he took us for a [?] sleigh-ride. Right into the wind's eye ya might say. And it was a couple of hours before we could haul up along side of him and get a lance in him and kill him. And, uh, it was a couple hours more before Captain Simmonds got the old Mozambique up along side, but we finally got the whale along side.

We rigged the stage in, and, uh, I got down on the stage in, and cut in. With-which was the first mate's job in them days, and, uh, when we had the whale all flensed and we cast the carcass adrift and I bet the blubber- er the spade on the end of the line and set it up on deck.

And  I came up on Fort [?], and as I stepped on deck, Captain Simmonds came up to me and he stuck out his hand, and, uh, he said 'Mr. Simms, you're the best god damned mate that ever sailed on the old Mozambique and here's my hand on it,' says he, 'And also, Mr. Simms,' says he, 'Here's the key to my locker, and in that locker, you will find Kentu-Kentucky whiskey, New England rum, and the best of Cuban tobacco,' says he, 'and that key, Mr. Simms, is yours for the remainder of the voyage.'

And I looked him right in the eye, and I said 'Captain Simmonds,' says I, 'I don't want your Kentucky whiskey, nor your New England rum, nor yet your Cuban tobacco,' says I, 'What I want from you, sir, is civility. Civility of the most ordinary kind, and God damned a little of that.' And I walked forward."