C5 - Live

[Stilgoe, Skellern, both]
[Spoken]
We ought to to start with something fast and topical, about, say, the revitalisation of British industry. Do you know what is going to revitalise British industry?

No, go on. Surprise me

The Sinclair C5
[Laughter]

All over Milton Keynes there are firms tooled up ready to make Targa tops and spoilers for the Sinclair C5. This song is going to change its image and make it a success

[Intro]

All the girls will stand and stare
When you're sitting in your Sinclair

Hey hey hey, look over there
Who's the wally in the grey bath chair?

See the motion, feel the power
We can do fifteen miles an hour

Gives you the chance with a little bit of luck

To be run over by a Spanish truck

C5 C5 C5 C5
Gonna rock, gonna rock
Gonna ride, gonna ride
I'm glad that I've
Got a C5

Come on, baby, make me strong
Charge my battery all night long

Squeeze my switch in the morning and then

Oh dear, it's gone flat again
Never mind, baby, stop me slowin'
Use your feet to get me goin'

Go on, admit it, you like the pain

From three rubber tyres and a bicycle chain

C5 C5 C5 C5
Gonna rock, gonna rock
Gonna ride, gonna ride
Try and survive
In a C5

[Spoken] My solo!

[Instrumental break]

The man who made the calculator cuter
Made the wrist TV, and made the home computer
Britain's premium microchipper
Brings you the electric bedroom slipper

Plastic dog bed without a door

A hoover craft

And a three wheeled claw

Here it is, at last unmasked

The answer to the question no-one asked

C5 C5 C5 C5
Gonna rock, gonna rock
Gonna ride, gonna ride
Thank you, Sir Clive
For the C5

Who's gonna help it carry on?
Richard Branson, or Simon Le Bon
No, the guys who've taken on this money maker
Are John DeLorean and Freddie Laker

Give me the motor from a washing machine

And a tupperware body that's really mean

Don't need a Porsche, don't need a Merc

I wanna look like an absolute berk

C5 C5 C5 C5
Gonna rock, gonna rock
Gonna ride, gonna ride

Too small for the Pope in Rome

But perfect for Mrs Thatcher's Barratt home

Thank you, Sir Clive
For the C5...

[last syllable sustained portamento, as if their batteries are running down]