Brief History of My Life

We first moved to the USA all the way from Canada
Drove across the continent from Nova Scotia to Pasadena
My sister and me, and my mom and dad
From the cull to the sunny south
There were palm trees growing and it was not snowing
And I never did shut my mouth

We drove on over to the courthouse in downtown Los Angeles
We put our hands on a bible and we swore as a family that we were not communists
When we drove away, I started to cry
They said, "What's wrong son, are you sick?"
I said, "I don't wanna be an American; I wanna be a Catholic"

We talked Hollywood, and baseball in the car
The voice of Vin Scully; It would travel really far…

I made my first communion in St Rita's Catholic Church
There was incense choking and a priest was smoking; was a choir up in the perch
My face got red, and my stomach felt bad
They said, "if you're gonna get sick, use a cup"
Well I thought by the time that it was my turn Jesus would be all eaten up

We talked Hollywood, and baseball in the car
The voice of Ernie Harwell; It would travel really far…

My allergies were bad so we moved to the desert to a city called Palm Springs
We trick-or-treated at Liberace's house; each finger had a diamond ring
We met Elvis Presley in the middle of the summer; he hugged my sister for far too long…
Well, it felt kinda weird, but I woulda pimped her out just to hear him sing a song

We talked Hollywood, and baseball in the car
The voice of Jack Buck; It would travel really far…

Now, here I am, a grown up boy at home on the Fourth of July
Staring out at the ocean and the fireworks in the sky
I miss my friends who aren't around; the ones who passed away…
Well, I'm feeling kind of grateful here on Independence Day

We talk Hollywood, and baseball in the car
The voice of Jerry Coleman; It would travel really far…

I get allergies
And asthma in the yard
And no one ever told me
Growing up would be so hard