​breathing colors

[Intro: evz]
To your friends okay for now, but I will [?] (laughter)
Um, so today is our last show! Um, and we have worked so hard-
We have spent hours and hours at school and I know today must be exhausting
We just did a show, and now we have another two and a half hours out on stage-
And it's been a lot of work, but you guys have handled it with such grace, and passion, and talent
And, I cannot wait to be on stage with all of you-

[Verse 1: k_m & nickwuh]
Running out of energy
Barely halfway through the week
Paragraphs of worrying
Feed my rumination

Still, I keep on losing sleep
Over my anxiety
Picking petals desperately
Do you still love me?

Are you gonna hate me
After I get therapy
To fix the crippling OCD
Defying all this gravity

That’s sending me to heaven
Or somewhere in limbo
‘Till I’m a good person
Until I’m who i wanna be

Does someone wanna take the time
To answer all these questions?
That I can never put to rest
My self examination

Does someone wanna take my place
So I can get off the stage
Pretending I can function
Pretending I’m a person

When I’m half of who I could’ve been
If I started sooner
If I started normally, if I could see color

If the scale goes down, then does that mean
I'm losing every part of me
That's not enough for everyone else?

[Refrain: k_m]
Can I stop to breathe?

[Chorus: k_m]
Wait a second
Wait a second
Wait a second
Wait, a second chance

[Interlude: evz]
Um now to start off, I want- you guys, this is a little bit of a strange breathing pattern
But it's super helpful
Breathing in for 4, holding for 7 and breathing out for 8, so let's try it together
Um, breathe in
1, 2

[Verse 2: chazles & evz, w/ koen <3, & all]
Try to stop time, but it's never gonna work
Lest we destroy the world and we make it anew
If you fall down, then I'll catch you
(If you fall down, then I'll catch you)

Takin' solace in repetition of the silver-lined thoughts
Even if they're only silver plated and beginning to rust
When the structure gives way
You can let all the weight onto me

And when you feel helpless like a child
(Helpless like a child)
We can sit down for a while
(We can sit down for a while)
And talk all about what's on your mind
The start and the end, but never now in our lives

Do you wanna go? (Go)
Do you wanna stay? (Stay)
We can go wherever you feel safe
As long as you'll be okay
You'll be okay

[Refrain: chazles & evz]
Can I stop to breathe?

[Chorus: evz & k_m]
Wait a second
Wait a second
Wait a second
Wait a second

[Verse 3: k_m]
I'm always chasing afterimages of a reality
Which has either already happened
Or doesn't yet exist

And I believe it isn't healthy
In the long run for my mental health
To dwell on things I cannot change
Or influence in anyway

But who's to say
Whether or not it's driving me insane?
If I can fake a smile
Then that must mean I'm doing fine

And not tryna rationalize
The dissonance within my mind
Stemming from the rotting branches
Of a forgotten family tree

Thus, making me genetically
Predisposed to having less than
Ideal mental faculties
And permanently miserable

If I run away from everyone that I've ever loved
Then I can't hurt them anymore
So, I'll close each open door for us

[Monologue: koen <3]
It’s one o’clock
From a sleeping house
I hear shaky breath
And a tear-moistened voice

Your grief trickles through the phone
And forms a lake at my feet

I am learning that love doesn’t work how I thought it did
I expected to move mountains
Don bright armor
And fight dragons

Instead, I am a voice on the phone
Running out of comforting things to say

And some little part of me, bigger than I’d like to admit
Is frustrated by your grief
Because I know that if you had my eyes
There would be no doubt about the love you deserve

I am learning that there are no dragons to be slain
Or battles to be won
All I have to hold you with
Are my words and a promise

My words
Imperfect though they are
Will remind you that we will wade into those cold waters together
Clinging to each other for warmth

[Bridge: koen <3, nickwuh, both]
If I can't give you everything
Then what kind of man does that make me
If I can't give you everything
Then what kind of man does that make me

Safety in the details
Wish you'd see the bigger picture, darling
And I know that you're scared to leave
So what if you just don't go?

[Refrain: nickwuh & koen <3]
Can I stop to breathe?
Can I stop to breathe?

[Finale: nickwuh & k_m]
This isn't me it's the voice in my head
Replaying fixations, I'm better off when
I'm in your embrace, when I'm in your presence
When I'm in the present
I'll take a deep breath

You've got all my faith
My blood, sweat, and tears
So be my escape
When nobody's there

If nobody's there
Then I'll talk to myself
Just like I've always been
Yeah I've always needed help

But it'd be so much better if I could ground myself
Anchor my thoughts when I'm going through hell

The warmth of the summer
The ultimate comfort
The path to recover
The rush of breathing colors

You've got all my faith (Wait a second)
My blood, sweat, and tears
So be my escape (Wait a second)
When nobody's there

If nobody's there (Wait a second)
Then I'll talk to myself
Just like I've always been (Wait a second)
Yeah, I've always needed help

But it'd be so much better if I could ground myself (Wait a second)
Anchor my thoughts when I'm going through hell (Wait a second)

The warmth of the summer (Wait a second)
The ultimate comfort
The path to recover (Wait a second)
The rush of breathing colors

(Wait a second)
(Wait a second)
(Wait a second)
(Wait a second)

[Outro: nickwuh]
Hey, um- so we haven't talked in a while
And I know we weren’t really on good terms
But I just want you to know that
I’m still thinking of you, that I still want to be here
And that I’ve got you
If you’re ever in need, I’ve got you
Always, and always, and always. Okay?
I’ll see you later

[Encore: k_m]
Love yourself - it’s hard to do
When you see all the flaws in you
So close your eyes and turn away
From all the doubt racking your brain

You know you always come first it’s
Us against the universe
I’m here until the day I die
As long as you’re by my side

[Credits: evz]
So let that sit for a little while-
Um, you can get up when you're comfortable
Keep breathing for as long as you need
Let's sit in the silence and colors-
Great show, everyone