Bob Johnson

[Verse 1: Spose]
In handcuffs smoking her second butt
Thinking 'bout her life and how he messed it up, F'd it up
Her maiden name was Jen Kimbal
That was back when she was single
She doesn't still live with her husband of course
They don't grasp the same forks, didn't have to divorce
He was getting shady with a lady from work
She saw 'em coppin' pork, shoppin', poppin' corks
One night he walked in the door with a snort
"Give me food, Jen, then let me watch sports
I want a BJ first, like Bjork
Bring a beer in here, dear, from the porch"
She stirred the ladle in the borscht
Said "Yes, Robert" and brought him the main course
He took a spoonful, soon was a corpse
She dumped him in the port with the fish by the wharf
She told her cellmate his dick's like a dwarf
But she missed her kiddos
And she's not glad she did it as she's sitting in prison
When they visit, they see the widow through the window, but

[Hook: Spose & Kristina Kentigian]
Everybody knew his name
Jacuzzis were his claim to fame
And you would probably do the same
If he did it to you
His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king
He's your man if you need anything
If you need that jacuzzi installed
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call

[Verse 2: Spose]
Yo, Ella was looking for a fella
So she flirted at work and made their wives all jealous
(Yeah) Looking for a man with some loot
‘Cause her three sons all had holes in the boots
(Yeah) Her husband died in Tikrit
Got cash from the government, enough to eat
(Yeah) Couldn't even bring her sons to the movies
She took a second job, working, selling jacuzzis
Her boss was a pervert
But he's rich like sherbet, he'd get a boner when she'd murmur
So she did it, let him hit it
And then quit her other job as a server, became the top earner
He was 60 with a 20 year old's sex drive
Sex drive, never thought he would get murdered
After he copped her the 2013 X5
X5, manicured, no cuticles
Beamer gleamin', all looking beautiful
She wore all Gucci to the funeral
Before his wife got life in the cubicle, but

[Hook: Spose & Kristina Kentigian]
Everybody knew his name
Jacuzzis were his claim to fame
And you would probably do the same
If he did it to you
His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king
He's your man if you need anything
If you need that jacuzzi installed
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call

[Verse 3: Spose]
Well it was just procedure and nobody stuck around
Parking lot was empty 'fore he's in the ground
And his obituary has compliments
As if he did it all with no consequence
He had saliva on his epitaph
But they did not write that because

[Hook: Spose & Kristina Kentigian]
Everybody knew his name
Jacuzzis were his claim to fame
And you would probably do the same
If he did it to you
His name was: Bob Johnson the hot tub king
He's your man if you need anything
If you need that jacuzzi installed
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call
Bob's the man you call