Black Life (Depressed)

Welcome to the black life
Drowning inside my mind
It’s light but it get dark sometime
They said search and you will find
Throwing two cents, so I stack loose change
But they don’t really know interpretations of my brain
Giving advice? How you wanna live yo life?
What’s wrong or right?
Peace at night must be nice
Life’s a pie, I want my slice!
Parents said better be polite, is that right?
The way it seems, those demanding get everything
I’m starting to see, starting to learn
Everything just don’t go my way
Day-by-day, each mistake, that I make
Feeling like running away to a place
Where no one knows my name, feel my pain?
Bout sick and tired of the same ol’ same
The same ol’ game, no improvements
I keep losing, tryna keep it moving
But I’m going round in circles
I been hurting been feeling worthless
Like what’s my purpose?
Sip moscato, downed that bottle
Tryna solve my problems, they got worse
I yell, I slur, I curse
Probably should’ve prayed first
Probably should’ve read a verse
Haven’t even been to church
Everybody else seem to know my worth
For what it’s worth, giving no fucks
Middle fingers up!
Black thoughts make me so irrational!
Ninety-five down Old National
Windows down, music blasting
Fuck this shit! Fuck that bitch!
Suck my dick! Blah blah! This and this!
I ain’t rich bitch, but I got dreams
Drifting from where I’m s(up)posed to be
Going outside gotta show my teeth
Clean my face, like it’s okay
At ain’t all good, nah it ain’t all great
Asking me, where’s the positive energy?
Bitch are you hearing me?
It’s the pain that you don’t see, living depressed
I could give a fuck about the way I dress
Who the fuck is you? I ain’t tryna impress!
As of late I been real stressed, thinking about what’s next
See I got a lot on my mind, but like half the time
I guess I should be thankful that I’m still alive
I guess I should be thankful that I’ve survived
I guess I should thank God
That little bit of light, in my black life!

- Zane Smith