Bijou

Picture if you can your auntie in a café
Sipping up spirits leering this and that way
Through cigarette haze hanging in the mirror
Rub swollen eyes 'till the image gets clearer to you
Bijou

Picture your granny all drunk with pearls
Chipped nail polish going home with girls
What's good on the loose is bad for Ann Landers
Sexual partners are innocent bystanders in this milieu
Bijou

Now picture if you will your sister in a cell
Decadent, dangerous, dirty as hell
She knew all the crooks by the looks on their faces
She knows all the freaks on a first name basis, ooh
Bijou

Now who here remembers the minister's daughter
Scalding in bed with boiling holy water
She bathed in gin and she showered in tonic
The dad says she's crazy, the priest said demonic
Eve drank the cider and we all went to hell
But we took great advantage of the fresh clientele
Now get in, you
Bijou

Now where is her man, was he killed in a war?
Was he stolen away by some monsignore?
Was he lost in a bet with Miston Get?
Busted clean in bed with Josephine
In flagrante delicto Juliet Greco
And did he know Bardot? And did she make him hard? No
Bijou

You've all got your theories as to why she's out alone
Did you ever stop to think that it's no fun at home
Maybe it's empty, maybe it's cold
Or maybe the memories start to take hold
Or maybe there's a man there snoring in a stuffed chair
Sitting in his underwear collecting mold
He's too dumb to talk
He's too drunk to suck
He's too lame to appreciate a well-roasted duck
And that's tragic, I assure you
Bijou

Now here's Mother Earth with rings on every finger
Staring through the photo, see the perfume linger
See her in her sabel, at the café table
Is she drinking white wine and having a good time
Just as dramatic, look emphatic
That velvet hat is flat in someone's attic
I don't find the rumpled nylon sad
Your aunt in Van Nuys wishes she had it this bad
Bijou

Yeah this could be your auntie if she'd only give an inch
But your auntie doesn't budge cuz she's nowhere near as French as Bijou