Big News for the Birdwatchers

We bought a parrot at the smelly pet store
You laughed when I taught it to call you a whore
In the park we threw bread at pigeons
But the zoo binocular vision, it wins

Big news for the birdwatchers
Natural selection is speeding up
Your show is going off the air
Where my birdfeeder was is a bugzapper

In the winter I threw rocks at the crows
In the springtime I stepped on sparrows
In the summer I strangled hummingbirds
In the fall I ate frozen turkey dinners

Big news for the birdwatchers
I'm goin' hunting tomorrow morning
Your show is going off the air
There are razors mixed in with my birdseed

Two broken wings and half of a beak
Have been decaying in my basement for over a week
Cages filled with oily rags
Matches and old papers, moist miniature gags

Big news for the birdwatchers
Your show is going off the air
There are razors