Big ’N Round Girl

{*a parody of LL Cool J's song "Around the Way Girl"*}

I want a girl with gravitational pull
Big as a cow, but not mean as a bull
A couple chins and a big behind
That's what I need to make the girlie all mine
She can waddle down the street talk with her mouth full
I love it when the woman spits food on the floor
Standing at the bus stop inhaling a lollipop
One she starts eating you can't make the hottie stop
She likes to dance to the rap song
But she always breaks the floor 'cause her legs are too strong
Prune wrinkled complexion, sits around the town
Let's hear it for the girl she's big and round

[Chorus]
I need a big 'n round girl
That's the one for me
I need a big 'n round girl

Dusted, rusted, her smile's like a skeleton's
That's why I had to dedicate this one
To all the cuties grazing in my back yard
If I didn't feed you then you'd probably starve
You eat all my sugar straight out of the jar
Gonna panic if I see you getting into my car
Boy you're fat, but at least you got nice looking hair
Even your cat is as big as a bean bag chair
You can break chairs and manipulate food
Or drink Welches then belch and act totally rude
You always know where the food can be found
Cold flip when you find a new diner in town
Not cheap or petty, just constantly hungry
You shower once a month so you smell real funky
But if you ever wanna fit in this world
Go on a diet girl

(chorus)

You bleached your hair just as white as you can
Now you look like the abominable snow man
I tell you come here and you say no way
'Cause you run out of breath and pass out half way
Around the way you ripped all your jeans
All the little kids use it for a trampoline
You wear a parachute for your biker shorts
While you're chillin' in the restaurant eating foods of all sorts
Going to the movies getting stuck in the door
While the business men in suits are throwing up on the floor
Fake hair flappin', both lips chappin'
You broke the toilet, it was bound to happen
We can go out and eat real well
I got a lot more fat jokes to tell
Lisa, Angela, get out of town
Before you get flattened, she's big and round

(chorus)