Beelz

I figured since I wrote a song about you know God and Jesus and all that
I’d have to give the uh, opposition equal time

[Verse 1]
Ever since first man has walked this earth I have been here
To whisper seeds of doubt and evil thoughts into his ear
I am the beast, the outcast angel fallen from on high
I go by many names, but there is one you can’t deny

My name is Satan
Hi everybody
Uh, let me tell you a little bit about myself

[Verse 2]
My friends all call me old scratch
And I am a Capricorn
My turn-ons are romantic walks and killing the unborn
I’ve got little devil horns and a little goatee
And little devil eyes to help a little devil see
And little cloven hooves make it kinda hard to ski
I’m Satan
Woohoo

Mephistopheles for some, I don’t know
[Verse 3]
My real name is Beelzebub
But you can call me Beelz
I love to watch Fox News then go club some baby seals
Then I’ll take a bubble bath and drink a Zinfandel
Try to wash off that baby seal smell
And then I’ll make a toast to me
Hey, here’s to my heal-
Th

[Verse 4]
My name is Satan
To carry on my evil ways I went and had a son
And now he makes his living as a singing comedian
I’m in every Zeppelin album, I’m in all Rush Limbaugh’s rants
I’m the reason that the Boston Red Sox even had a chance
And if I want to eat your soul I’ll just throw it on the griddle
No need to make a deal I don’t need to tell a riddle
And fuck Charlie Daniels I don’t care if you can fiddle I’m Satan
Devil went down to Georgia he was looking for a soul to steal
That’s fucking bullshit because I would not be caught dead in Georgia
Okay, it’s like oh my God
Six six six
Satan

[Outro]
Look that’s just how I picture him, you fucking think of whatever you want