Steven helps two friends get along at the barn.
This article reproduces material from the “Barn Mates” transcript on the Steven Universe wiki and is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike License.
[Open Int. The Barn]
(Peridot is seen talking into her tape recorder into the barn, while Lapis and Steven watch on next to her.)
PERIDOT: And then I'll say, "Hey, as one refugee to another, it isn't so bad that we can't go back to Homeworld, am I right? Why don't we watch the sun come up and figure out what we're going to do with all this time, eh Lazuli?" And then she'll say, "Yes Peridot, as impressed I was by you on the ship, I am even more impressed with your new compact look and capacity for friendship! I'm so glad we're going to live together!" Peridot, Facet 5.
(Peridot stops recording and casually turns to Lapis.)
PERIDOT: Let's begin.
LAPIS: ... This isn't gonna work.
PERIDOT: Wait, what?
LAPIS: I really thought I would be living alone here.
STEVEN: Yeah, but this is even better! Oh here, how about this? I saw this on an episode of a TV show! I didn't see how it ended, but I'm sure it worked out right. We'll divide this place in half.
(Steven takes out a marker and starts drawing a straight line on the floor.)
STEVEN: You'll both have your own space. High ceilings, real wood floors, convenient location on the heart of the country; so what do you think, roomies?
(Peridot and Lapis stand opposite of one another on both sides of the line.)
PERIDOT: I like the cut of your gem, Steven Quartz!
LAPIS: No! No way!
PERIDOT: What's the problem? You're the one getting all the good stuff! You've got the propeller and paint cans on your side! You can do tons with those! Oooh, actually, I want the paint cans. You wanna trade something?
LAPIS: glares at Peridot dismissively I don't care about paint cans. That's not the problem.
PERIDOT: Bah...
STEVEN: What's wrong, Lapis?
LAPIS: It's her.
PERIDOT: Egh?! flinches in confusion
LAPIS: She's the problem. I can't stand the thought of looking at her everyday. She's the one who dragged me back to Earth!
PERIDOT: Hey, it wasn't my idea! I was headed to Earth and I needed an informant! It should have been a simple mission. Things didn't exactly work out for either of us.
LAPIS: gets angry You used me like everyone else did!
PERIDOT: But it's not like that anymore! It's different now; I'm different!
STEVEN: walks next to Peridot It's true, Lapis! Peridot has really come into her own since she's been living on Earth.
PERIDOT: I sabotaged my own mission! I helped save the Earth! I even yelled at Yellow Diamond! She's probably sending a whole fleet to find me and shatter me right now. I'm kind of a big deal; a big Anti-Homeworld deal!
(Lapis approaches Steven, and Peridot moves behind her uncertainly)
LAPIS: forcing a concerned smile Steven, I don't think this is gonna work.
STEVEN: Ahhhh, ummmm, maybe we could put up a curtain?
(Lapis gives Steven a patient smile, but then walks out of the barn and flies away to the top of the silo. Peridot starts pouting as Lapis flies off.)
STEVEN: turns to Peridot Err, sorry. Thought this was gonna be okay... I forgot the last time you saw each other.. wasn't, so okay.
PERIDOT: That was in the past! It's not like that now! UGHH! stomps away
STEVEN: I know.
PERIDOT: But obviously she doesn't! She's the one who needs to know! I want her to understand!
STEVEN: Awww Peridot, that's sweet! That's the you you need to show her!
PERIDOT: confused Show her my sweet?...
STEVEN: I got you does his signature finger-out-and-wink
(Steven takes out a giant piece of paper and folds it in half.)
STEVEN: Cards are a great way to tell someone something if you can't be face to face with them! ...Or if they don't wanna see your face. You gotta give her a taste of the sweet version of Peridot.
(Steven starts drawing on the cover of the card while Peridot watches, seemingly in distaste.)
STEVEN: Here, look! hands Peridot his drawing It's you and Lapis holding hands!
PERIDOT: Where are our noses?
STEVEN: Oh, that's kinda part of my style lately.
PERIDOT: Is not having fingers also your style?
STEVEN: No, I'm-I'm just bad in drawing hands. So here's your part - come here! gestures Peridot to sit down beside him Write an apology inside to Lapis so she knows how sorry you are about before, and that everything is okay now. If you write it from your heart, your feelings will reach her!
(An awkward silence falls between Steven and Peridot, as Steven realizes the different context of his words.)
STEVEN: Just, try to be sincere.
PERIDOT: contemplating Hm.
[Trans. Ext. the Barn]
(Lapis is lying peacefully with her eyes closed on the roof of the silo, as she lets out a relaxed sigh. Peridot then starts calling out to her from below.)
PERIDOT: distantly Hey Lazuli! HEY Lazuli! HEEY!
(Lapis frowns and her eyes widens, as her peace is suddenly interrupted, and she turns to her side, groaning in frustration.)
PERIDOT: Lazuliiii, HEY! to Steven Why isn't she responding?
STEVEN: I'm not sure. I thought she was up there.. calls out Lapis! Are you up there?
LAPIS: Huh? hears Steven and swoops down in front of him Yes, Steven?
STEVEN: turns to Peridot Go on!
(Peridot walks up to Lapis and hands her the card.)
PERIDOT: Steven did the outside, and I did the inside! points to herself proudly
LAPIS: unimpressed, opens the card and read it "Sorry I interrogated you. You were just full of such useful information. That's a sincere compliment. Peridot."
(Lapis, still unimpressed, glances back at Steven and Peridot, who are looking and grinning at her hopefully.)
[Trans. Int. the Barn]
(Steven and Peridot return back into the barn, with their efforts clearly rejected, while Peridot speaks into her tape recorder.)
PERIDOT: The noses! One can only conclude that it was the lack of noses! It seems illogical to me that it wouldn't be any of the writing elements! It took me over an hour to compose it, and I was the most sincere as per Steven's instructions!
STEVEN: It could be she's not much of a reader? How about a gift?
PERIDOT: Another approach, yes! ...But what? stops recording
STEVEN: Hmm, think of things she likes.
PERIDOT: Things she likes.. Lapis Lazulis are typically partial to water and flying. ponders* Hmm. *put up her finger in excitement Ah!
(Steven gasps in anticipation.)
PERIDOT: immediately refutes herself No...
STEVEN: No?
PERIDOT: Nuh-uh... put up her finger in excitement again BUT IF!
STEVEN: Yeah?
PERIDOT: scrunching her face up in disdainful thought, refuting herself again Nah...
STEVEN: Yeah...That'd probably be overdoing it.
(Steven and Peridot groan together in mild frustration. Steven then looks out of the barn.)
STEVEN: Hm, water... noticing the hole previously made by the drill I think you have something with that!
[Trans. Int. the Barn]
(Steven guides Lapis by her hand steadily, who has her eyes covered by her water wings.)
STEVEN: You can't see through those, right?
LAPIS: Actually, yes. But it's very blurry.
STEVEN: Good to know. Well, here we are!
(Lapis retracts her water wings off her eyes, and her smile quickly disappears when she sees Peridot, who is floating proudly on a rubber tube on a pool of water where the hole previously was.)
PERIDOT: H-2-Oh my GOSH! It's a smaller-than-an-average lake!
STEVEN: It's from the hole we drilled! Peridot and I sealed it and filled it with water.
(Lapis stares at the pool with a disappointment and disbelief.)
PERIDOT: It's a gift for you! You know, 'cause water's your thing. chuckles* Pretty good, right? The barn's out here in the country, but now you can get your moisture fix whenever. Do all that water stuff you do! *wiggling her fingers wildly
LAPIS: Water? scornfully narrows her eyes Seriously?
PERIDOT: Yeah!
LAPIS: You do realize that I spent the last few months trapped under the ocean, right?
PERIDOT: Sure!... but I thought-
LAPIS: It was an endless, crushing darkness. Wet, and bleak, and suffocating. Water was the tomb I lived in for those months.
(Peridot sweats anxiously at Lapis' dark explanation, and slumps into the rubber tube.)
PERIDOT: "T-Tomb", you say?
LAPIS: Yeah. I'm kinda taking a break from water right now. disdainfully But thanks... for the lake.
(Both Steven and Peridot groan in dismay and despair.)
LAPIS: turns to Steven Don't worry, Steven. It's not your fault.
(Lapis then spread her water wings and flies off again, as Steven and Peridot stare after her, speechless.)
[Trans. Int. the Barn, Early Evening]
(The sky begins to fill with dark clouds. Lapis is back sitting atop the slio, while Steven and Peridot are back inside the barn. Peridot fumes into her tape recorder as Steven sits and watches.)
PERIDOT: A pool?! What a cloddy idea! Of course she wouldn't like that! There's nothing, nothing, NOTHING!
STEVEN: There has to be something, something, something... starts thinking* Maybe, instead of something she likes.. give her something you like! A piece of you! *spreads his arms in excitement
PERIDOT: Umm..... okay? shrugs How about, my Camp Pining Hearts DVD..?
STEVEN: Which season?
PERIDOT: 5...?
STEVEN: immediately shrugs and refutes the idea Trash.
PERIDOT: shrugs in agreement I know. Ughhhh.
(Peridot falls backwards onto the floor, and starts speaking into her tape recorder in frustration.)
PERIDOT: Log date- whatever, Facet- whatever! Ughh, WHATEVER! Clearly there's nothing important enough for me to give to Lazuli. At least I have you, tape recorder.
(Peridot then looks at her tape recorder with an epiphany.)
[Trans. Ext. the Barn]
(Peridot presents a small gift with both hands excitedly to Lapis, while Steven stands behind her, making a dramatic emphasizing pose towards Peridot.)
PERIDOT: Ta-dah!
(Lapis just stares down angrily at Peridot, as Peridot awkwardly inches closer and closer, trying to get a response from Lapis.)
PERIDOT: See, the ribbon is even blue. I got yo' number! winks at Lapis
(Peridot keeps presenting the gift excitedly to Lapis, who continues to silently and monotonously stare at her motionlessly. Peridot's grin falters and she darts an uncertain sidewards glance to Steven, who shrugs in response.)
PERIDOT: Uh, here, I'll unwrap it for you! When I was stuck here, Steven gave me this tape recorder as a gift and I didn't really get it at first, but it made me feel better. rips the wrapping away, revealing her tape recorder bundled inside Just to talk about the weird stuff that was happening. It'll help you too!
(Peridot holds out the tape recorder to Lapis again hopefully, and she finally takes the tape recorder by its top side, still making no comment or further action.)
PERIDOT: nervously instructing You, umm, press the button to record, an- and then you talk into it!
(Lapis looks at the tape recorder as Peridot and Steven smile expectantly. She then presses the red record button and speaks into it.)
LAPIS: I don't want, your garbage.
(Lapis holds out the tape recorder, crushes it in her hand and drops it on the ground, causing the tape cassette inside to pop out. Steven stares in shock and horror, while Peridot stares at her wrecked recorder, flinching without blinking.)
PERIDOT: NNGUH! What, were you trapped in a tape recorder too?!
(Lapis glares at her, enraged by Peridot's comment.)
PERIDOT: gets frustrated Look, I get it, you know? You're confused! You can never go back to Homeworld. This place, doesn't exactly feel like home yet. You're alone, no one could possibly know what that feels like!
(Lapis keeps glaring at Peridot, narrowing her eyes in anger.)
PERIDOT: Oh wait, I do! We're the same, except!... calming down You don't have to be alone!
(Lapis simply just glares away, unconvinced.)
PERIDOT: So tell me then, what you want from me! And whatever that is... sighs I'll do it.
LAPIS: scowling angrily, and snarls I want you, TO LEAVE!
PERIDOT: ... Okay.
(Peridot, visibly hurt, puts up a determined facade and complies, walking away into the hills. Steven watches worriedly as Peridot leaves. Lapis then walks up to Steven's side with a calm expression.)
STEVEN: Lapis, why are you being so mean to her? She's really trying!
LAPIS: skeptically Why do you trust her, Steven?
STEVEN: Because I know her! Lapis, you're not even giving her a chance! You should have at least gotten to know her before you decided you don't like her!
(Lapis glances down at the broken tape recorder on the ground with a tinge of regret.)
STEVEN: Now it's too late. And she's never coming back again.
(Peridot is then suddenly heard again, screaming in the distance as she runs towards Steven and Lapis.)
STEVEN: Oh, she's coming back again!
PERIDOT: runs past Steven and Lapis They're here! AHHHH!
(The dark clouds in front of Steven and Lapis begin glowing, as a menacing modern floating pod burst through from above and beams a yellow ray of light at the two.)
STEVEN: gasps Run!
(Steven and Lapis retreat into the barn, where Peridot is cowering inside.)
STEVEN: What is that thing!?
PERIDOT: It's a Roaming Eye, a Homeworld tracking vessel! I told you, I'm public enemy number 1!
(The Eye hovers from above the barn and shine its beam upon it, the light slipping through the cracks in the wooden ceiling. Peridot gasps in panic but quickly covers her mouth, as Steven shushes her. The beam then passes by, as the Eye seemingly goes away, and the trio sighs in relief. The beam then shines upon them again, as the Eye peeks through the partially-repaired broken wall of the barn, evoking them to flee out of the barn and onto the fields outside. The Eye catches up to them and focuses its beam onto the trio again.)
PERIDOT: overcoming with fear No, uh, ah!
(The iris of the Eye is joined by four more diamond-shaped irises, and they all turn red, as the Eye begins to advance towards the trio.)
PERIDOT: This is it, Steven! clings onto Steven's arm They're going to wipe my precious grin off the face of this planet!
STEVEN: Stay behind me! I'll protect you!
(Just then, Lapis silently walk past Steven and Peridot and stands in front of them. She glances back at Peridot for a brief moment and begins drawing and rising the water from the pool. She shapes the water into a hand and uses it to flick a finger at the Eye, halting its descent. She then dismissively slams the Eye into the ground with the water hand, forming several diamond patterns around it as it hits the ground. The water is retracted back into the pool as Steven and Peridot stare in disbelief.)
PERIDOT: Holy smokes...
PEARL: calling out Steven!
(Garnet, Pearl and Amethyst then arrive at the scene beside the trio.)
AMETHYST: Holy smokes!
PEARL: Are you alright? We saw the ship and came as fast as we could.
STEVEN: Yeah, I'm okay. Lapis saved us... But, it looks like Homeworld really has it out for Peridot.
(Peridot quietly tries to sneak away to avoid further confrontation.)
LAPIS: Peridot!...
(Peridot's hair stands in shock as she turns around, anticipating further rebuff, as Lapis turns towards her.)
LAPIS: ...Are you okay?
(Peridot beams happily at Lapis' hint of concern.)
LAPIS: Um...
(Lapis starts blushing and she turns away to hide her blush. Steven giggles gently, as the other Gems stare curiously. Suddenly, noises are heard from the crashed Eye, and everyone gasps in shock. A hatch opens up with smoke gushing out, and a one-eyed Ruby soldier emerges from it, staring around towards them menacingly.)
[END]