Bargaining

[RENATO]
When you find something you want to buy, what is the first question you ask the shopkeeper?

[LEONA]
How much, I suppose

[RENATO]
And when he tells you how much, do you pay?

[LEONA]
Right

[RENATO]
Wrong!
You say you aren't sure
You look, you handle, you wonder, you frown
You dwell on what is poor
Too big, too little, too orange, too brown
You tell him that you think you see a crack
He tells you it is just the old shellac
You say you saw a better one in Rome a week before
He says that if you did, it must have cost a thousand more
You say: "Too roccoco!"
He says: "Shall I wrap it?"
You: "Is it real Venetian?"
He: "I can guarantee it."
"Let me see some others, please."
"Madam, all wе have are thesе."
"May I use a check to pay?"
"Madam, anything you say."
"Will you mend it?"
"We will mend it."
"Can you send it?"
"We can send it."
"Will you --?"
"Madam."
"Can you --?"
"Madam."
"Is it --?"
"Madam."
"May I --?"
"Madam."
"Let me think it over, I'll come back another day."

You start to leave the shop
He smiles, he fusses, he opens the door
You start and then you stop
You smile, you ponder, you wander some more
You wander and you wait, and he the same
Whoever waits the most will win the game
You wander near the goblets maybe once or maybe twice
You wait until it's closing time, and then you ask the price
You say: "How much is it?"
He says: "Inexpensive."
You: "What is inexpensive?"
He: "Only venti mille."
"That is twenty thousand, yes?"
"But for you I'll make it less."
"Can you make it uno mille?"
"No, I'll make it dieci mille."
"Due mille."
"Dieci mille."
"Quattro mille."
"Nove mille."
"Cinque."
"Otto."
"Sei."
"Sette."
"Sei!"
"Sei? All right, sei."
"Let me think it over, I'll come back another day."

You start to leave again
You go into the street
And if he follows, then
That signals his defeat
And that, you see, is when
The bargaining is done
You haven't really saved a single lira
But you've won!
Ah!
Won!
Ah!
Won!