Baptist Fashion Show

[BAND]
Da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da

[MOTHER]
These catty church bitches give me the blues
And Lord, look at these shoes

[NARRATOR]
And you know...
Church people were all about the shoes

[BAND]
Mama says you gotta go
To the Baptist Fashion Show

[NARRATOR]
Silk ties, shiny purses, fancy hats, and jewels

[BAND]
Mama says you gotta go...
Jesus gonna save your soul

[NARRATOR]
And that Christian catwalk was real unforgiving

[BAND]
Mama says you gotta go
But she didn't wanna go

[NARRATOR]
...to anyone who couldn't fit in for a living

[BAND]
Mama says you gotta go
To the Baptist Fashion Show

[NARRATOR]
Holy war on Sunday morning
It was war on Sunday morning

Now the church on Adams Boulevard is usually a bore
The ladies wave fans and the old men snore
The kids cut up on cue in the very back pew
And the Holy Ghost ain't been here since 1972

They got real estate, college funds, jobs with benefits
Home-owners, debutantes

[YOUTH]
This place is as phony as it gets

[NARRATOR]
LOOK!
Everybody sharp,
Ain't not one head nappy
But it's been a long time since
the church got happy
And with their judgmental eyes
See, they've all just realized

[PHILISTINES]
Fourteen years old and still ain't been baptized...

[NARRATOR]
Now just as he thought, "This'll be a nightmare come true,"
His conviction turned to ice in that chilly church pew
His conviction turned to ice in that chilly church pew

[YOUTH]
Jesus'll make it back here before I do

[NARRATOR]
He saw the brownskin-ded ladies in their oversized crowns
And the jet-black deacons with them "Don't you do that" frowns
And the high yellow girls in their skin-tight gowns
A collection of verbs disguised as nouns

And ev'ry Sunday she pushed him
But she never wanted to go
Ev'ry Sunday he listened
But he didn't want to know

It's too bad they never talked about
The shared truth that dwelled below:
Who could handle the pressure
of this Baptist Fashion Show?