Bad Men

[BRENT]
Side 3, Track 3. “Bad Men.”

[BRITTAIN (Dunyazad)]
Scheherazade was ending the story for the night:

[GELSEY (Scheherazade)]
“AND SO ROSE LEFT THE SHOP WITH A BRAND NEW CAMERA
AND THE NUMBER OF THE SUBWAY DRIVER WRITTEN ON HER ARM”

BUT NOW THE SUN IS RISING
AND THAT IS ALL I AM PERMITTED TO SAY

Do you like my story, Shah Zaman?

[BRENT (Shah Zaman)]
It is a marvelous tale!

[BRITTAIN]
WHAT A GOOD, SWEET STORY IT IS!
YOU ARE A REAL SCHEHERAZADE

[GELSEY]
HOW CAN THIS COMPARE
TO THE STORY I SHALL TELL YOU
TOMORROW NIGHT
IF THE SHAH SPARES ME
AND I AM STILL ALIVE?

[BRENT]
When I kill you, I will miss you.

[GELSEY]
How will you grieve for me, O Shah?

[BRENT]
I WILL COMMAND A GREAT FEAST FOR THE KINGDOM
WITH THE LARGEST BOAR THAT THE COURT HAS EVER SEEN
AND GREAT OAKEN CASKS FULL OF HONEY SWEET WINE
AND WE’LL TOAST TO THE COULD-HAVE-BEEN QUEEN

AND WHEN THE FEAST IS IN FULL SWING
AND THE BUTTERFLY JESTERS ARE DANCING
I WILL TAKE THE LARGEST CASK
BACK TO MY ROOM

AND I'LL DRINK ALL ALONE IN MY ROOM
AND I'LL CRY LIKE A BABY
AND I’LL DRINK SO MUCH I’LL GET SICK
AND I’LL LIE ON THE BATHROOM FLOOR
AND I’LL DRINK SOME MORE

AND I’LL KEEP DRINKING
FOR FORTY-TWO YEARS
AN OLD OLD MAN
ALL ALONE IN HIS CHAIR
WATCHING GAME SHOWS
MAKING FUN OF THE CONTESTANTS
FOR THEIR STUPID ANSWERS
AND THEIR WASTED LIVES

[BRITTAIN & GELSEY]
A WASTED SACK OF A MAN
AN EMPTY BROWN PAPER BAG
SOGGY AND GROSS

[BRENT]
IF YOU CAN LOSE YOUR TEMPER
THEN I CAN LOSE MY MIND
IF YOU CAN LOSE YOUR TEMPER
THEN I CAN LOSE MY MIND

[ALL]
IF YOU CAN LOSE YOUR TEMPER
THEN I CAN LOSE MY MIND
IF YOU CAN LOSE YOUR TEMPER
THEN I CAN LOSE MY MIND

[DAVE]
COME LOOK AT THE STARS
DEAR PEARL
COME LOOK AT THE STARS
DEAR PEARL

[BRITTAIN (Rose Red)]
How could you. Sister, how could you?

[GELSEY (Pearl White)]
He likes my singing. He likes my singing, that’s all.

[DAVE]
Wait, wait, Rose Red, we were never—
We never—

[BRITTAIN]
I always knew you were shallow
I always knew you didn’t know me
I always knew you didn’t believe in me
I always knew that I bored you
I always knew I wasn’t pretty enough to hold you
I always knew you’d go with someone smarter than me
I always knew your mind was elsewhere
I always knew you were a snob
I always knew you had your head in the stars
I always knew you and your books
You and your fucking books
I am not a puzzle
I'm not some fucking logic puzzle for you to figure out
I am not a fucking game
Why don’t you just go fuck your books?
Why don’t you just go fuck all your fucking books?
And we’ll see who’s smarter
We’ll see

[BRENT (Bear)]
Do you have the things I asked for?
One Pot of Honey
One Piece of Stardust
One Secret Baptism
And a Photo of a Ghost?

[BRITTAIN]
HELLO THERE BEAR
I HAVE THE THINGS YOU ASKED
I HAD TO GO THROUGH SEVERAL LIFETIMES TO GET THEM
AND NOW I’M IN YOUR CAVE
IN MY SEXY RED CLOAK

[BRENT]
I KNOW LITTLE GIRL
AND NOW I’M GONNA EAT YOU UP
EAT YOU UP
EAT YOU UP LIKE BERRIES

[BRITTAIN]
BUT WILL YOU DO WHAT I ASKED?
MAUL THE ASTRONOMER
TURN MY SISTER INTO A CROW?

[BRENT]
I AM NOT A MURDERER
OR A CRAZY PERSON
I JUST LIKE HONEY

[GELSEY & DAVE]
HE JUST LIKES HONEY

[BRENT]
YOU’LL JUST HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF!
NOW GO AWAY LITTLE GIRL

[BRITTAIN]
I HATE YOU

[ALL]
THE DRIVER CAN’T STOP THE GHOST IS HERE
THE DRIVER CAN’T STOP THE GHOST IS HERE
Side 3, Track 4. “Usher, Part 3” 2-3-4...