Bad Habits

[Psychiatrist]
All right people, we're going to talk about bad habits
I used to have a bad habit
When I had a yeast infection where I scratched it continually
First person I want to talk about their bad habits
Is you Headlock, what have you got to say?

[Verse 1: Headlock]
A lot of people are like "Headlock's got issues"
Fuck that - I got a subscription and a full box of tissues
I'm not a character, I play one in my imagination
And before shaking my hand you might consider vaccination
Yeah I'm that dude that's in elevators arguing with himself
Because I don't have time to talk to anyone else
Any chick that sits down next to me when I'm drinkin' at bars
I cough in her face and tell her I think I have SARS
Bi-polar, eye disorder, talk so (shut up)
Talk words without incident sincere
But that comes and goes, sort of like me
I don't love these hoes so I jerk off then I leave
You don't know bad habits till you've lived like me
Walk a mile in my shoes, they suck and I want your Nikes
I guess the worst thing I do when I'm guesting on tracks
I scream "Headlock" through a cut and make the rest of it whack

[Psychiatrist]
All right, I'm going to get myself a cut
Mr Suttersutter!

[Verse 2: Trials]
It's the Aussie sex symbol, you better ask your mother
I'm like hip hop's version of that dude Dieter Brummer
I've got a slut habit, girls call me vain
'Cause my brain's a one-track mind made up of my face
There's no complaints, ladies know that I'm good
And women faint when they check the size of the manhood
Like "What a man, what a man, what a man
What a mighty good man! Say it again now"
My sex style is tight like Liv Tyler
Quite the pimp kind of guy to kiss like a
Exact replica of Gene Simmons
These teach the women cop the breaststroke like I was swimming
I sorta lie like the chicks that I say that I lay
On their backs on a day to day base
But honestly, I couldn't set a pulse on fire
So signing off, Mr Trials: compulsive liar

[Psychiatrist]
Don't be so hard on yourself, you're a strapping young liar
Pressure, what do you got to say?

[Verse 3: Pressure]
I get so drunk I fall flat, landing hard on my chin
Crack a retarded grin, my eyes get this glazed look, I'm far from a king
To attain drunk, my thoughts are a fumble
I try to talk but I mumble, try and walk but I stumble
And when my mind gets as dirty as a pint of Coopers
I delve down for a few rounds of pocket snooker
I like hogging loogers, picking plaque from my teeth
Scratching my arse, farting, and long walks on the beach
So how about it girls? I'm an eligible bachelor
Some guys will buy you flowers, I'ma get drunk and rap for you
Then stagger to the closest quarter, open my drawers
Then spew before you claim he was a closed talker
See I got habits as bad like faggots that drag
Make your stomach churn like retards having a shag
Man, my rapping is sad (no doubt!) and when I was at your house
I picked my nose and wiped it under your couch

[Psychiatrist]
I hope that wasn't my couch
It was made by Pakistani Seventh-day Adventists!

[Verse 4: Sesta]
I wish it was a bad habit, it's an epidemic
I'm leggin' it from paramedics when given the sedative
You see I wish I could settle it but my best bet to get it
Severed from my neck then I would get respected
But then I guess I'll just
Take a breather and beat up the weak and feeble for evil
Believin' they could defeat me
I'd only take 'em on if they were smaller, with my mates and his [?]
So I don't take drugs, I just use them as my excuse
To act the way that I do so disregard what I say to you
My mind's fucked up, corrupted
My shirt's tucked only when my gut's sucked in, it must be
The gluttony from Monday to Sunday
I wanna go out like Pun so catch me at the buffet
You see these hairy palms? They don't mean no harm
I mean I need a companion 'cause I'm sick of my left arm

[Psychiatrist:]
Sesta if you're hungry I'll have Marco prepare you a trifle

[Verse 5: Suffa]
Uh, only smoke a pack on a good night
On a bad night I smoke two packs like Suge Knight
Then when Saturday comes
It feels like a chimney shat on my lungs
Fuck your patches and gums
They call me Goldfinger, you should see
I got the illest hands from puffing on the 12 milligrams
Goldfinger, I swear, man
It looks like I've been stirring a curry with my bare hands
And my breath gets funky, I know hun
But if you don't like kissing a smoker, then just blow one
I smoke to the butt, I choke till it's done
Like dope smoker's toke it right down to their thumb
And if I could quit, shit, I could save the dollars
To get my lungs flushed by a Mexican doctor
(Achh he no speak English!) and he's completely incompetent
And doing a procedure that's banned on six continents
Bring out your dumb

[Psychiatrist]
Bring out your dumb!? I'll bring out a can of whoop-ass on you
You shouldn't put people down
Anyways, it's been a really good session everyone
You're very clever people
Hopefully now you've got that out of your system
You can address your problems

[Turntablism: DJ Reflux]
"Doing your crib" "Break a sample like-like a bad habit"
"Bad-bad-bad habit"
"Bad-bad-bad-bad-bad-bad habit"
"B-bad habit"