Baba the Turk’s Aria

[BABA]
As I was saying, both brothers wore moustaches
But Sir John was taller, they gave me the musical glasses
That was in Vienna, no, it must have been Milan
Because of the donkeys. Vienna was the Chinese fan
Or was it the bottle of water from the River Jordan?
I'm certain at least it was Vienna and Lord Gordon
I get so confused about all my travels
The snuffboxes came from Paris, and the fulminous gravels
From a cardinal who admired me vastly in Rome
You're not eating, my love. Count Moldau gave me the gnome
And Prince Obolowsky the little statues of the twelve apostles
Which I like best of all my treasures except my fossils
Which reminds me I must tell Bridget never to touch the mummies
I'll dust them myself, she can do the waxwork dummies
Of course, I like my birds, too, especially my great auk
But the moths will get in them. My love, what's the matter? Why don't you talk?
What's the matter? Speak to me!

Come, sweet, come
Why so glum?
Smile at Baba who
Loving smiles at you
Do not frown
Husband, dear

[TOM]
Sit down!

[BABA]
Scorned! Abused! Neglected! Baited!
Wretched me! Why is this? Why is this?
I can see, I know, I know, I know who is your bliss
Your bliss, your love, your love, your love, your life
While I, your loving wife
Lie not! Am hated, am hated
Young, demure, delightful, clever
Is she not? Not as I
That is what I know you sigh
Then sigh! Then cry! For she, your wife, shall never
Shall never, shall never be. Oh no! no, never, never