​apologies

[Pre-Chorus]
Half of my life been apologies
Whether it's earned or not
I know that people that stay in my life
Are the only ones that I want
Man I'm so sick of apologies
The feelin' of lettin' you down
The feelin' that I'll never rest
Even the day that I lay in the ground

[Chorus]
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm startin' to lose composure
I'm tryin' to write, but the tears in my eyes
Make it harder to see what I'm holdin'
I'm never sober, not that I wanna be
I never drink, I just smoke marijuana tree
I just kill my emotion

[Verse 1]
Yea
What am I hopin' for?
Maybe an open door
A sign, an answеr or something
I'm always fine and then I'm not
I nеver know when it's coming
I'm out of touch of my senses
I got mistakes that replay in my mind
Filled with anxiety built around time
It don't matter the tenses
Yeah, it don't matter the tenses
Whether it's past, present or future
I see it endin', I feel stupid
Talk to my therapist
You never cared, and shit
I was the one that was there, and shit
I never thought I could talk because
Pointin' out flaws always felt like a heresy, uh

[Pre-Chorus]
Half of my life been apologies
Whether it's earned or not
I know that people that stay in my life
Are the only ones that I want
Man I'm so sick of apologies
The feelin' of lettin' you down
The feelin' that I'll never rest
Even the day that I lay in the ground

[Chorus]
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm startin' to lose composure
I'm tryin' to write, but the tears in my eyes
Make it harder to see what I'm holdin'
I'm never sober, not that I wanna be
I never drink, I just smoke marijuana tree
I just kill my emotion

[Verse 2]
When I blow up, when this shit done
I'ma be myself, not for anyone
But that old me that you knew way back
Well he not the same, now he 'bout this cash
I'ma bring it back, only for my fam
If you used to know me then you just a fan
I don't give a fuck, this ain't no luck
I put in the work to get out the mud
I don't give a fuck what you think
I can put my mind to it
If I ain't makin' bands with it
Not too long fore I look at my wrists
And diamonds dance with it
I been way too modest
Now I'm just bein' honest
Pay attention to the profit
And now my new girl a goddess, yea
(Goddess)
(My new girl a goddess)
(Yea, I feel like I'm dyin')
(Yea, I feel like I'm dyin')

[Pre-Chorus]
Half of my life been apologies
Whether it's earned or not
I know that people that stay in my life
Are the only ones that I want
Man I'm so sick of apologies
The feelin' of lettin' you down
The feelin' that I'll never rest
Even the day that I lay in the ground

[Chorus]
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
I'm startin' to lose composure
I'm tryin' to write, but the tears in my eyes
Make it harder to see what I'm holdin'
I'm never sober, not that I wanna be
I never drink, I just smoke marijuana tree
I just kill my emotion