​apathy

I 'wanna cut all my body parts off
I just 'wanna be a lump of coal
Maybe then I'd have a chance to be of use
And still get to destroy this ugly world
It looks like my reflection does

For now, I'm fading in and out of consciousness
Looking for your outline on the wall
I can feel the distance grow every passing' day
And this cliff height increasing, ever tall

It'd be so easy now to let me fall
But you don't like that imagery at all

And I just hope you're happy
I just hope you're smiling
And laughing at somebody's stupid joke
Cause' I'm stuck in my head again, searching for some estrogen to change into the person that I know

Beside myself again, with all I wrote
Inside my mind I'll never be this ghost