Anti-Polio Picnic

MRS. VW (spoken)
Good morning, good morning! I'm Mrs. Vernon-Williams, president of the Baltimore Women's Club. Welcome to the Baltimore Health Department's first annual anti-polio picnic and vaccination carnival!

EVERYONE (GUYS)
Yay!
It's a beautiful day
For an anti-polio picnic (picnic)
It's a beautiful day
To get a polio shot
A great new world's in store
For picturesque post-war Baltimore

MRS. VW
And if you value the use of your legs

EVERYONE
You've come to the right spot

MRS WILLIAMS (spoken)
I'm proud to say that the Baltimore Women's club has come out against polio by a vote of 56 to 8!

EVERYONE (GUYS)
Yay!
What a wonderful time
To be a teenage conformist (conformist)
What a wonderful time
To be what's known as a square (we are square)
We're lucky to be us
So happy and homogenous

MRS. VW
But still one must take care
For dangers wrecking everywhere

BALDWIN (spoken)
Oh we know, Mrs. VW. We can't be too careful

ALLISON AND BALDWIN
We want more communists
Keep tabs on UFOs

BALDWIN (ALLISON)
Steer clear of weirdos
(And beardos)
And Beatniks

MRS. VW
And warp hills, God only knows!

GUYS (GIRLS)
We frown on potty mouth
(We don't wear skimpy clothes)
No no!

EVERYONE
We avoid all temptation
Combat our insurgents
Repress all our lustful and primitive urges

MRS. VW
And now my granddaughter, Allison, will present, in his iron lung, the mascot of our carnival and Baltimore's polio poster boy of the year, brave little Skippy Wankstad!

SKIPPY
Thanks everybody! I sure wish I could've gotten that shot

EVERYONE (BALDWIN AND GUYS)
So come on along
To the anti-polio picnic (anti-polio picnic)
Come on along
And protect yourself from disease (ew disease!)
You're going to be fine
Just do what you're told
And tow the line
You've got to watch your step
In times like these
Yes! You've got to watch your step
(step, step, step)
In times like these!