Anderson Burrus vs. J2

[Round 1: Anderson Burrus]
It’s been brought to my attention a few of you guys watching don’t rock with me
Y’all were mad I made it into Phase 2, you called it a robbery
“I don’t believe a word he says.”
“He delivers so awkwardly.”
Heard someone say, “Pat Stay would kill this white boy!”
What?...yeah, probably!
But imagine coming into the Crucible with everybody mockin’ you
Then your battle drops, and they realize there’s no stoppin’ you
And I’m one of the hottest, too
And bein’ at the top is cool
I’m lookin’ down at everybody...like J2 in the lockеr room!
But I get it! I get it…

He’s an opеnly homosexual man! Ya have to know that going in

But I get it
Y’all like, “I don’t wanna see Anderson featured. I can’t stand his demeanor.”
It’s cool if you hate white people - I’m not a big fan of us either
I mean, a lot of white people suck, but try to keep an open mind
Plus it’s only me and Ren Thomas...and Mr. Biscuit if you close your eyes
But y’all gave me J2, and I’ll admit that he’s nice with it
But I came here to make this all about me, like white women
And to you other battle rappers thinkin’ you could beat me?
Yoshi G on social media: bro, I just make this look easy!
I’m through with bein’ friendly!
I’m creepin’ wit’ the semi
I didn’t come here with NO NAME FLIPS...’cause I couldn’t think of any
I really tried
I tried flippin’, uh...J2, J-Deuce, J-Double
His real name is Jhanathan Jhanathan
Bro, even your name sounds like a gay couple
It’s weird
I’m from Raleigh! Check my bio
You see I’ve put on for my whole town
You can check his bio - all you’ll see are his pronouns
I’ll kidnap J2, have his hands and feet bonded
Y’all remember that boat scene in The Dark Knight?
Yeah, I will hold a fairy (ferry) HOSTAGE!
I had one shot! Weapon load
The gun cock! His head explode
Pow…
Y’all ‘bout to see a flame at the bottom of the ocean like a SpongeBob episode!
I had the gun and I untucked it!
He couldn’t run from it!
All he saw was me with the grip on the handle like the Chum Bucket!
I HAD to kill J2!
WHAT!?
I had to kill J2
We had to settle a personal score
That’s when I flee the scene and leave him murked on the floor
And if y’all snitch to the cops, this’ll turn to a war
So don’t say nothin’, or it will get crazy
“The Real Slim Shady”: y’all act like you’ve never seen a white person before!
$10,000 on the line…bro, I’m comin’ to hurt someone
I’m all over this $10K like I’m runnin’ to cure somethin’!
And my first round is done, and you just got murdered clear
And I’m gonna warn you right now: it only gets worse from here

And I mean that literally, like it gets worse from here
That was my best round without a doubt
My second is not great, my third is a freestyle
But...it gets worse from here
Time

[Round 1: J2]
I said, the Crucible is a war
A lot of niggas ain’t meant to make it
Blood and chalk will stain the pavement
And I’m one of the reasons the coroner had to cover some bodies…but that’s a blanket statement
I’m here for the payment, and nothin’ else matters
Y’all givin’ these mothafuckas the steps to succeed?
I wanna see ‘em climb the ladder!
So if I pull up to the whip, and he standin’ behind the glass
BOW! That window of opportunity shatters
Now we was at the last event and we good, right?
I met you
Bitch, that shit’s a dub!
You walkin’ around here actin’ like you deserve to win
Well, if he do, Pooh Shiesty: I want it ‘Back in Blood’
Bury him in the swamp
If the family wanna see the body, Kevin Gates
They gon’ have to get it ‘Out The Mud’
But only 50 percent of the corpse was found
The rest is gettin’ drug
It’s gon’ be ugly lookin’ for your other half: Flavor of Love!
Get hit wit’ a slug, from a big gauge!
We’ll find your bitch and surround your heart: ribcage!
Switch blade!
Nah, not a switchblade, I really switch blades
Barbershop Timb fade
Anderson get smacked wit’ the Andy’s: I gave him his nickname
All these niggas want me to cease to exist
So I keep a scope on the niggas that’s watchin’
I gotta see to exist
I’m a god - it’s up to me for the sea to exist
It’s a shame
Y’all know my name
But he gotta die for y’all to see! 2! Exist!
You silly mothafucka! I can’t stand ya!
I’ll let it blam ya!
Blade first - (*ptoo*) - then he caught 19!
He was open during the pandemic like Atlanta!
The toolie shoot!
Do you know what I will do to dude?
Bitch, I will put the U in “funeral”
All that funny shit cool, and it suits you
‘Cause when you rappin’, I don’t see no killer there
You add bars wit’ forced aggression to mask the fact that, around these niggas, you really scared
All that shit cap, and anybody cappin’ wit’ you should beware
‘Cause the things he pick out of his head is put together right
But it’s lies (lice) in it, like white people hair!
I hope you suited well for this battle
You told Smack you could help us reach a new market?
Bitch, we don’t need you
Not now and not then!
You really think we need Golden Girl bars?
I’ll check your chin!
Take his body, travel it down the road and back again
His homies at the funeral cryin’: “Thank You For Being A Friend”!
I hope you suited well for this battle, ‘cause these rounds is tailored
I did my research on you
Come to find out you really just a fuckin’ failure
You got a lotta skeletons in your closet, and the next round we givin’ ‘em hangers
Rap, bitch

[Round 2: Anderson Burrus]
Let’s be honest, um…
This is the last time URL is- is ever bookin’ me
‘Cause I understand the optics of the situation here, and this…
This is not a good look for me
I mean, y’all have me insulting a gay Black man
A lot of y’all are gonna accuse me of being homophobic and racist
Lemme make this clear to everybody…I am not racist
But it’s true!
In the past, gay people have been through more than a bit of oppression
But today? One can run for office, prob’ly win the election
They can start their own families, adopt a kid in a second
I mean, gay people can do anything, you know?
…except for gettin’ to Heaven
But basically what I’m tryin’ to say to you, is being gay is cool
I don’t care about orientation
I always skipped the first day of school
But you love to complain
“None of these big leagues wanna book me ‘cause they don’t approve of my lifestyle”
You’ve been on RBE, Gates of the Garden, iBattle…
You’re on URL right now!
What are you talking about!?
All these outlets want an interview
Drake frickin’ mentioned you
Someone bad-mouths you on Facebook, Jaz The Rapper starts defending you
And you’re from Atlanta!
Bro! You can be as gay as you want!
Freaking gay guy in Atlanta? That’s like a white guy in Vermont!
Ya blend right in!
You blend right in!
And you had the nerve - the nerve - to say you be doing drive-bys in Atlanta
That ain’t true, bro
There’s no drive-bys in Atlanta - the traffic’s too slow
You know how awkward that would be?
Your gunner missed the shot
Take 15 to 20 minutes just to spin the block?
It’s not feasible
And I’ve watched a lot of your battles
I was having a really rough time
All you are is Katt Williams if he tried to do gun lines
In your pre-pubescent voice, tryin’ to convince us that you’re a tough guy
He be like, “You’re gettin’ slayed (sleighed) here
Think a reindeer: (*chk-chk*) I’ll let a buck fly!”
Alright, Jhanathan!
Jhanathan! Calm. Down.
You are a 38-year-old gay man
Who are you intimidatin’?
“I’m gonna bring the blades out!”
Yeah, to go figure skatin’!
I will make it hard to ‘Breathe’!
If I feel down to fight him
He’ll go from feelin’ fabulous (Fabolous) to - (*gasp*) - soundin’ like him!
This is like a round with Tyson- WHAT!?
This is like a round with Tyson
You gettin’ somethin’ after this
It’s gon’ look like a bear killed him, a huntin’ accident
I been boxin’ in the gym, every punch is accurate
Drop a BOMB on J2 - I just sunk your battleship!
He had a decent chance of livin’, now it’s jeopardized
He’s now hooked up with a machine like The Stepford Wives
And according to the doctors, he won’t ever regain consciousness
That respirator’s like minimum wage, ‘cause you gon’ have to struggle to live off of it
That’s round

[Round 2: J2]
Hold it down - you can hear me?
I said, you got a music video entitled “Scars”
It talks about how you used to cut yourself to deal with your depression
Black people done been through all types of trauma
We were literally the butt of a recession
Not one time did I catch my mama usin’ a buck-fifty without discretion
So I find it ironic that they call me Blade, when you usin’ me to let out your aggression
You said you haven’t hurt yourself since 2011
Huh - well, give it up for you
Sadly, you battlin’ a nigga that got a problem wit’ blades, too
And I’m ‘bout to open up all them old wounds
Long sleeves and turtlenecks
Tryna shield the world from your decisions
Band-Aids coverin’ the incisions
Your skin, peeled back in the shape of a baby’s ribbon
But one night, he cut his leg so deep, there was no more pretendin’
But that’s not the point!
‘Cause you white and privileged
Why the fuck was you so vexed?
Bitch, I’m gay! I ain’t never been that upset!
You did six weeks in a cuckoo house to get your mind right? What a stretch
But it’s like he relapsed, ‘cause he battling me
And as far as the Crucible goes, I’m the cutting edge!
He gettin’ left for dead
See, I had a problem with cocaine for a while
The shit wasn’t cool
It started wit’ me testin’ the dope wit’ a razor as soon as the new pack came through
And you lost your lil’ female friend ‘cause you couldn’t stop cuttin’ yourself
It’s a horrible truth
But I understand, ‘cause like I said, I used the blade over that white bitch, too
Who hurt you?
Who hurt you!?
Who hur- I mean, well, besides you, who hurt you!?
Or are you just some type of nice happy dummy?
I should leave the jokes to him, y’all, but suicide ain’t funny
But picture it…
Gillette: “We got a new razor with eight blades.”
Him: “Take my money!”
Anderson, I think you need to toughen up!
As a adolescent, did you need a hug?
Did your girlfriend embarrass you at the school dance
Nah - I know you could probably cut a rug!
This wigga sucks, and it’s crazy, ‘cause outta him I gotta make an example!
I Googled his name, lookin’ for an angle
Just to find out he was viewin’ his veins…searchin’ for an angle!
He gettin’ mangled
You prepped for this? It don’t matter
I’m still ‘bout to blaze you, bro
I’m just sayin’, though
Punk mothafucka, prolly wrote his rounds in a Razr phone!
You come from a Christian home
So like Tay Roc, your family had to approach your situation with Caution
And they looked the other way, not knowin’ what caused it
But it’s Biblical
I feel his teen years was filled with him fallin’ his own sword, and them not knowin’ how to solve (Saul) it
And this is who y’all want to lead the Culture?
This shit’ll have him goin’ back to cuttin’ himself
This ain’t no mild sport
What he gon’ do when he performin’, and the crowd, look and sound bored?
P! You gon’ put him on NOME, just for him to cut his rounds short!?
Stop playin’ wit’ me!
Every battle he actin’ so mothafuckin’ righteous!
I guess since he can perform, y’all think he gon’ hype us
Who he s’posed to be? The new white Twork?
Okay, well, go ahead and rap, Miley Slice-us
Rap, bitch!

[Round 3: Anderson Burrus]
I found out you adopted a son
At first I wanted to commend you
‘Cause gay couples can be amazing parents, and I have nothing against you
But the fact is you’re broke and you’re single, and that’s where I have my issue
Because you can’t even find a man willing to live with you
So why are we forcing a little kid to?
I mean, every orphan on this planet has the same fantasy
That a loving couple will adopt them and make them part of their family
Imagine your whole life as an orphan - you’ve dreamed of that day
And it finally happens - you’re adopted...by someone who is single and gay
It’s just gotta be a little disappointing
I mean, think about it
“Alright, Tommy. Take a seat.
So your future father’s waiting for you in the visiting room
Now he is broke - this will in no way financially benefit you
But that’s because he’s a felon - he’s been locked inside of a prison or two
But he is single and gay, and well, Tommy…he’s taken an interest in you.”
I would freak out!
Run, Tommy! Get outta there!
I mean, there’s not an aspect of your life that hasn’t been…

(*The crowd starts laughing - with approval - after this bar*)

There’s not an aspect of your li-
He’s getting really upset - it’s funny

(*The crowd laughs even harder because of this*)

He’s so upset! It’s so funny! C’mon!

[J2]
It didn’t happen!

[Anderson Burrus]
I can take the cutting jokes - c’mon

[J2]
But you did cut yourself

[Anderson Burrus]
There’s not an aspect of your life that hasn’t been a massive fail
And what happens if you relapse or have to go back to jail?
I’ll bet your son’s already a druggie, prolly has crack for sale
I’ll bet he’s got a scale hidden in his room like the kids from Dragon Tales!
And I’ve seen the spot you live
Whole place covered completely in garbage
I almost called the FBI to come raid your place…just so somebody would sweep the apartment
I mean, a one-bedroom apartment?
That’s the best you can give to your son?
How can you say that you’re out of the closet when you’re still basically livin’ in one?
I mean, you are a BUM!
But man...you are committed to this Wesley Snipes haircut
And he’s got the shades with him
You look exactly like Blade…if a vampire with AIDS bit him
I mean, I’m way bigger than this dude, but I still decided to come with a gun
I already got a hundred pounds on you - (*chk-chk*) - now it’s a hundred and one!
I’ll grab the s-
Okay-okay, I’m lyin’
I was, uh…I was really havin’ some problems when I was loadin’ up the strap
I pushed a button on the side, and the whole thing unattached
It’s confusing!
Does this thing go with that?
Do I hold it from the back?
I…I have no idea how this works…like voting on the app
But screw it!

Smack, it’s confusing, buddy
You gotta make it simpler
You gotta make it simpler for us

But screw it!
I got a blade, and I’ll let the knife poke him
Ironic, none of his friends were her to guard him, so I left him wide open
I gave him the biggest cut, more than his fair share
Now this rainbow is leakin’ out of his chest: it’s a Care Bear!
I didn’t wanna have to kill him, but man, he kept on forcin’ me
The blade stuck inside you: it’s forever quarantined
I will disfigure you horribly, like some epic horror scene
I will slit your throat in front of your SON...metaphorically
Not really - I still like you, so
Here’s the thing
This is why I like this battle
‘Cause you and I are just ourselves in every round that we write
And shout out to URL for really allowin’ each type
I mean, I’m white, you’re gay, and that’s totally all right
‘Cause you are proud to be gay, and I am proud to be…in the third phase of the Crucible

Thank you so much for havin’ me, I really appreciate it
I love all you guys!

[Round 3: J2]
I said, fresh mill’ for this cracker
I never had to let it go
I pistol-whip him, I’m tryna see the more white show
Now the .9 on 2? 1-0 (90210)
The chopper unload
I envision me winnin’
I don’t give a fuck what my opp see
I’m peelin’ wit’ a 30: Roxi’
Who gon’ stop me?
Wit’ a rusty blade
Bitch, I’ll peel skin back
The cut dirty like earring backs
Fuck that! Buck-fifty
(*swoo*) I’m keepin’ it steady, ho!
The cut clean…(*beep*): FM radio!
I’ll blam the gun
Bro was like, “After you did all that to him in the second round, you really gon’ kill his mama?”
(*chk-chk*) And her son! (Anderson)
This shit gon’ get silly!

[Anderson Burrus]
Aw, dude…

[J2]
This shit could get silly!
I’ll make this bitch eat the butt: Vivica/50!
Or I could just kill him, with a knife or a pistol
I’m finishin’ him!
That’s a cut or gun (organ): he’s hemorrhagin’
I’m serious, son!
Silencer, he not hearin’ the pops
I’m grippin’ the Glock
Cardiologist, neurologist, “What can they do for him, doc?”
Nobody knows which (witch) doctor can help wit’ the stick in the pot!
This shit gotta stop!
And for a cracker, we got the right toys!
Another silencer: white noise
I’mma shoot your bitch today, and you on the same day next year
I’mma blaze y’all
So I don’t give a fuck if you got a job
You better remember that anniversary and take off
Just lookin’ at your face got me thinkin’ that a peaceful protest won’t work
So I got the ‘K dumpin’
I pray to the ancestors, somebody gotta say somethin’
Them OGs replied and said “Point 25”
Change comin’!
Gauge bustin’!
I been on the road to success since I was, like, 9!
I done acted, did comedy, I seen many faces
But I’d always end up in front of a judge, doin’ time, before I could reach my peak, fuckin’ up my pacin’
I said .9, Judge, Tom…
Well, see, now I’m rappin’ about guns tryna get famous
So P, does that door to success revolve or (revolver) what?
‘Cause I be catchin’ cases!
The Texas scout: Berettas blazin’!
We do home invasions
I’ll bring your family-

What!? WHAT!? WHAT!?

The Texas scout: Berettas blazin’!
We do home invasions!
I’ll bring your whole family trauma!
Boy, I’ll black in that white house like Obama
Then grip the Llama
Playin’ wit’ me like proposin’ to Yoshi G: engaging drama!
Rookies vs. Vets is next? Okay
Well, I’m in the Cave, searchin’ for Osama
Ready to cook that bird Chess (chest) wit’ the sticks: we at Benihana’s
Oh, nah, I know, that was light
Well, gimme that Roc(k) to smoke: I’m T-Top mama!
This the third round!
I hope you was respectable with everything that you said
‘Cause after this, you either become a useless vegetable or turn up (turnip) dead
Round