Amethyst

Lunar studded starscape
Doldrums in the calm
Drama of dark choirs
God's teeth shatter
His black smile
Muted in padded shadow
What is life? I don't know
All I know is its price

Savaging left me incomplete
So I army-crawled toward a glow
Of craving and release
Travesty in a gloomy world
Where the embers of honeyed heat
Formed a tar of black beginnings

Where I own every want
Always seeking to enter
A taker begging for closure
Go, I need aloneness
I was feigning relief
Wasn't calm until now

I need your guidance
Will you see me?
Can you see I need you now?
This curse overwhelms me
Can't you see I need you now?
Oh, I need allegiance
When you find me coming down
I'll have only known the sound of your absence

Wondering if I could ever wind up being him
He's not me, he's not me
All this daydreaming without sympathy

Going over the years
When we lived together
At the end of the track in the Townhouse Motel
Blood on the mattress, blood on the walls
All of the violence, all of the cops
And when the men came with their guns
First we hid in the bath then hid on the bed

I loved you then, I love you now
I loved you then, I love you now
I forgave you, I was proud
To live in your shadow
In the comfort of your breeze

So, I'm not condemning
Just remembering the beginning

Majesty and misanthropy
Beginning at forty
From the zenith underneath
Nadir, nadir, nadir, nadir, nadir
From every day living
Waking in fear