Addison’s Trip

[ADDISON]
I'm on my way
Look, Mama, on my own!
I lost my way
That was just an episode
I'm on my way
Off to worlds I've never known
I'm looking for my road

Let Willie stay
I mean, Willie's found his niche
I have to say
We were getting just too entwined
But that's okay
And so what if I don't get rich?
I'm on my way to find
My road!

[HAWAIIAN BUSINESSWOMAN, spoken]
Aloha, Mr. Mizner! Welcome to Hawaii! Congratulations, you just bought yourself a half share in United Pineapple

[ADDISON, spoken]
Great!

[HAWAIIAN BUSINESSMAN, spoken]
Unfortunately, the pineapple plantation just caught on fire...

[ENSEMBLE]
Souvenir
Of your visit to Hawaii
Souvenir
So the memory will stay in your mind
Souvenir
Of the day you say goodbye-ee
Souvenir
For the girl you left behind

Native spear

[ADDISON]
Just a little setback, Mama

[ENSEMBLE]
Buy it here!

[ADDISON]
Little setbacks are allowed

[ENSEMBLE]
Souvenir

[ADDISON]
By the time I get back
You'll be proud

I'm on my way
Discouraged not at all!
I'm on my way
To I don't care where or when
A brand new day
And a brand new port of call
I'm on my way again

A small delay
Doesn't shake my confidence
I'm on my way
To discover who I am
And on my way
I've acquired experience

Plus a rattan stool from a native hut
A candle stand made of coconut
A whatnot made out of God knows what
I'm on my way again
Hot damn!

[ENGLISHMAN, spoken]
Congratulations, Mr. Meizner, you just became a full time partner in Bombay's Emporium of Precious Gems!

[ADDISON, spoken]
Great!

[ENGLISHMAN, spoken]
Unfortunately, the Emporium was just hit by a cyclone!

[INDIAN MERCHANT 1]
Sahib like a chair
With inscription of a swami

[INDIAN MERCHANT 2]
Something very rare
Made for rajah, only one of a kind

[INDIAN MERCHANT 3]
How about a pear?
One for daddy, one for mommy?

[INDIAN MERCHANTS]
Don't you care
For the girl you left behind?

Chandelier—

[ADDISON]
I've still got resources, Mama

[INDIAN MERCHANTS]
For your dear?

[ADDISON]
And I'm learning as I go

[INDIAN MERCHANTS]
Souvenir

[ADDISON]
Failing merely forces you to grow

I'm on my way
At sea, but far from wrecked
I went astray
As who doesn't, now and then?
But on my way
I've acquired some self-respect
Plus an old stone jug and a fakir's rug
A chandelier that's a bitch to lug
And a rattan stool and a coconut
And a whatnot which wasn't worth it, but
I'm on my way again
Again!

[ENGLISHMAN 1, spoken]
Congratulations, Mr. Mizner, you are now co-owner of Hong Kong's premiere fireworks manufactory

[ADDISON, spoken]
Great!

[ENGLISHMAN 2, spoken]
Unfortunately...

[Fireworks explode.]

[HONG KONG MERCHANT 1]
Souvenir
Can't go empty handed

[HONG KONG MERCHANT 2]
Blue veneer
Very hard to find

[HONG KONG MERCHANT 3]
Gift to cheer
Missy feeling stranded

[HONG KONG MERCHANTS]
Missy who you left behind...

Souvenir
Souvenir

[ADDISON]
I've half a dozen letters
To mail you
Don't worry, Mama
I won't fail you

I'm in my way
It's a bit disheartening
I'm in my way
Still, I'm doing as I please
Facing life's adversities...
I've got lots of memories...

Plus a Ming tureen
Made of opaline
A ten foot scroll
And a lacquered screen
And a chandelier
And a swami's chair
And a sense that worse is to come, but where—?

[GUATEMALANS]
In Guatemala
Where everyone feels hot and free
Enjoy your stay in Guatemala
The land of sensuality!

[ADDISON, spoken]
Well, that's it. That's all the money I've got left, now I know you can't guarantee me a sure thing—

[PLANTATION OWNER, spoken]
As a matter of fact, Mr. Mizner, that is precisely what I can guarantee you. The coffee business of Guatemala is a cartel, controlled by the same wealthy families that control the government. So frankly, unless we have a revolution—

[GUATEMALANS, spoken]
Revolution!

[Fighting begins.]

[ADDISON, spoken]
This is ridiculous... Where am I going? What am I doing?

(sung)
I give up!

(spoken)
Two years, halfway around the world, and what have I got to show for it? Embarrassment! Humiliation! Malaria!

(sung)
And a gilded mirror, an iron trunk
And a statue carved by a Spanish monk
And a ton of other assorted junk!

(spoken)
Boys, be bold? Your path is clear?
Tuh, the only thing that's clear is, no matter what I try, I make a big, fat fool out of myself
I'm sorry, Papa, I know I said I'd make you and Mama proud. I know you said there was a road out there, somewhere, even for me
Well, maybe there is, Papa, but I've looked everywhere, and I. Can't. Find it

(sung)
No, they all seem out of place...

Now it all looks too compressed...

What I need to have is space
That holds crucifixes, a Bombay chest
A temple bell, and a condor's nest
And commodes and mirrors and all the rest
I'll need a hundred rooms!

...So I'll make a hundred rooms...

Give the Chinese scroll an entire wall
The gilded mirror a separate hall
Build an atrium for the chandelier
Give the rug a room with some atmosphere!
Build a marble niche for the Ming tureen
And a mezzanine for the lacquered screen!
And an archway here! And a skylight there!
Until everything has a place somewhere!
I'll build a goddamn house!

I'm on my way!