Adamantium

I been living these days with an adamantium casing
You can’t penetrate it
And i lost myself, a phantom in the wind pacing
Theres no inhalation
And i know, i learned to expect it
A forced iteration
A narration that i was chasing safety
Maybe, i was seeking mitigation
Of suffering
Scars like losses i was covering
Cause my bones were melted, molded with metal
I couldn’t help it
Cause i was meddled with
Mutant and monster
I lost my conscience
I fell from empress, resorted to temptress
Armed with arms of blades to keep him at a distance
He was armed with arms of dna that had macho imprinted
And so when i resisted
He still insisted
He still insisted
He still insisted

So i’ve been living these days with an adamantium casing
The lie permeating
But i’ll drop it now
All it took was a deep inhalation, a realisation
The callous capricorn i was born
So hard headed i could headbutt a storm
But hardness translates to a tendency to ignore
Half of the song so it can’t resolve
Then i cart along a cartridge of
Supposed sins i’m waiting to have absolved
See i grew up to the gospel of
Be careful and be guilty
And my mother modelled womanhood
As nothing but man’s realty
So i figured out early
I figured out early how to bite down on my tongue
And my brother had a temper, so i learnt to duck young

But the second i realised i’d been raised to be weak
I unleashed the dormant force and took my sword from its sheath
I melted it, and drowned in the power
I woke up starving and ready to devour
Anyone who’d second guess me
Turned myself to acid
To burn if you ingest me
Political police, you’d better say that correctly
Fighting from trauma so i’d slaughter in a frenzy

But i don’t want to be addicted to misery
And i don’t want to assume that men equate to injury
So what if i could write a new narration
Letting go of the need for domination
That was born from constant subjugation
What if i could practice grace in the retaliation?

Mind state dilating
Embracing perspectives to continue upgrading
Cause hate is becoming outdated
And armour won’t heal you
Pain is the medication