A Mandrake’s Lament

Use extreme care when you're working with me
If you hear me scream, you will die
But please don’t insult my dignity
By doing dumb things that provoke me to cry

I'm a helpful plant; I can cure petrification
And I'm pretty cute, too
So before you pull me out of the ground
Before I make that fateful sound
I have one thing to ask of you

‘Cause it’s not easy being a mandrake baby
You're driving me crazy, so at least wear earmuffs that aren't pink and fluffy
I'm just a sapling, so pleasе consider my feelings
Before you rеpot me, those ugly earmuffs have got to go

Did you ever think that the reason I scream
Is 'cause your earmuffs make me want to kill you?
They hurt my eyes more than I hurt your ears
And Madam Sprout, you know it's true

Just take them off and I swear I'll shut up
I don't wanna be a pain
But before you pull me out of the ground
Before I make that fateful sound
I have one thing I gotta explain

Yeah, it’s not easy being a mandrake baby
You’re driving me crazy, so at least wear earmuffs that aren't pink and fluffy
I’m just a sapling, so please consider my feelings
Before you repot me, those ugly earmuffs have got to go

They've got to go
They've got to go
Everybody, now!
Badadada … Ugly earmuffs have got to go

It's not easy being a mandrake baby
You’re driving me crazy, so at least wear earmuffs that aren't pink and fluffy
I'm just a sapling, so please consider my feelings
Before you repot me, those ugly earmuffs have got to go
Yeah, oh, they've got to go
They've got to go
Those ugly earmuffs have got to go