A Man of No Importance

[ALFIE BYRNE, spoken]
"How beautiful is the Princess Salome tonight! She is like the shadow of a white rose in a mirror of silver. She is like a dove that has strayed. She is like a narcissus trembling in the wind. She is like a silver flower."

[TROUPE MEMBERS]
It's a rainy Dublin morning.
Sky a leaden gray.
Black umbrellas passin'.
Just your normal day.

[LILY]
A woman is sliding two eggs on a plate,
Calling her brother:
"Now Alfie,
You're late!"

[TROUPE MEMBERS]
And a man
Is brushing the lint from his vest.
Just a man
His uniform dutifully pressed.
Now the man
Remembers a poem that makes his heart yearn.

[LILY]
But his sister says
"Straighten your tie!"

[CARNEY]
And the butcher next door waves goodbye.

[ALL, but AlLFIE]
To a man of no importance.

(Sound of a bell.)

[ROBBIE FAY]
Enter Robbie Fay,
Driver of the bus.
Just another day
For the two of us.

[TROUPE MEMBERS]
Now the man
Greets passengers boarding the bus
And the bus
Becomes something more than a bus
As the man
Takes tickets and gives them a verse in return.

[ALL]
And a few simple hearts are thus warmed
As a gray Dublin day is transformed
By a man of no importance.

[ALFIE]
What we had was something;
What we had was rare.
Poetry and art in the air
And friends...

[ALFIE, spoken]
Good morning, my dear friends.

[ALL, spoken]
Good morning, Mr. Byrne.

[ALFIE, spoken]
With your permission, I will begin today's reading with "The Harlot's House" by Dublin's own immortal Oscar Wilde.
"We caught the tread of dancing feet,
We loitered down the moonlit street,
And stopped beneath the harlot's house."

[ALL, but ALFIE]
Picture the bus
As it moves down a street
Past a window of fish
And a priest on a bike.
A handful of people
With journeys to make
Leaving the everyday
World in their wake.
Then it's break.

[ROBBIE]
One little Guinness;
It's always the same.

[ALFIE, spoken]
A Guinness a day keeps the doctor away.

[ROBBIE, spoken]
You sound like me old man.

[ROBBIE]
Safe and sound,
That's the name of your game.

[ALFIE, spoken]
It's good for you. Build up your muscles.

[ROBBIE, spoken]
Hasn't done much for you.

[ROBBIE]
There's got to be more to life
Than one pint or the Pope
Too late for my Da,
But for you, mate, there's hope!
And what kind of sandwich is this?

[ALFIE, spoken]
Cucumber.

[ROBBIE, spoken]
Cucumber?

[ALFIE, spoken]
An ordinary sandwich immortalized in "The Importance of Being Earnest" at the Theatre Royal, Haymarket, on February 14, 1895 -- a night the mundane became sublime. That was a first performance, my friend.

[CARSON, spoken]
What's going on here?

[ALFIE, spoken]
Damn, it's Carson! You look like you could use a Guinness, Mr. Carson!

[CARSON, spoken]
You're eight minutes behind schedule! The Dublin Transit System doesn't take this laxness lightly. I'm warning you, Byrne.

[ALL, but ALFIE]
Picture the bus
As it moves down the street
Past a nun with a sack
And a boy with a dog.
A bus in the rain
And the humblest of men
Bringing his passengers
Home once again.

[ALFIE, spoken]
Good afternoon, my dear friends.

[ALL, spoken]
Good afternoon, Mr. Byrne.

[ALFIE, spoken]
With your permission, I will continue with "The Harlot's House"...
"Then turning to my love I said
The dead are dancing with the dead.
The dust is whirling with the dust.
But she, she heard the violin
And left my side, and entered in;
Love passed into the house of Lust."

[ADELE RICE]
A blue-coated girl
No one has noticed before
Enters the bus,
Takes a seat by the door.

[ALFIE, spoken]
My friends, we have a new face. Permit me on your behalf to welcome her into our little circle. Welcome, my dear, welcome, Miss...?

[ADELE, spoken]
Rice.

[ALFIE, spoken]
Miss Rice. Miss Rice's entrance matches perfectly the lines of our poem, our little rhyme.
"Then suddenly the tune went false,
The dancers wearied of the waltz,
The shadows ceased to wheel and whirl,
And down the long and silent street
The dawn with silver sandaled feet
Crept like a frightened girl."

[ERNIE, spoken]
Fair play to you, Mr. Byrne, fair play!

[ALL, but ALFIE]
Just a man
Conducting his bus through the day
But the day
Is now something more than a day
As the man takes tickets
And looks at the girl dressed in blue.

[ROBBIE]
Then his driver yells,

[ROBBIE, spoken]
Alf, you okay?

[ALL, but ALFIE]
And the bus lumbers off on its way.

[GROUP 1]
As a man of no importance

A man of no importance
[GROUP 2]

A man of no importance

A man of no importance
[ALL, but ALFIE]
A man of no importance
Ends his day.

[ALFIE, spoken]
Home, James. Take the scenic route. Through Phoenix Park, past Parliament House and straight on to Dreamland.

[ROBBIE]
You and your fancies,
They're always a grin.

[ROBBIE, spoken]
I wish I had your imagination, mate.

[ALFIE, spoken]
You do, you just don't use it.

[ROBBIE]
I'll bet you fancy
That girl who got in.

[ALFIE, spoken]
Never mind the girl. And I've done the report.

[ROBBIE]
For a fella who's got his head
In the clouds such as you,
You're damn fine to work with
And I'm glad I do.

[ALFIE, spoken]
Thanks Robbie. I like you, too.

[ROBBIE]
I'm off to the pub then.

[ALFIE]
Good luck at the snooker.

[ROBBIE]
Don't walk into walls, Alf,
That girl is a looker.

[ALFIE]
I'll see you tomorrow,

[BOTH]
At seven.

[ALFIE]
It's a rainy Dublin evening,
Lamps are going on.
Black umbrellas passin',
People come and gone.
A uniformed man
Hurries home through the night --
Three blocks down Collins,
A left, then a right.
And nothing is different,
Save one ray of light,
For a man of no importance.