A Little Priest

[MRS. LOVETT]
That's all very well, but what are we gonna do about him?

[SWEENEY TODD]
Later on when it's dark, we'll take it to some secret place and bury him

[MRS. LOVETT]
Oh yeah. Of course we could do that
I don't 'spose he's got any relatives gonna come pokin' 'round lookin' for him

Seems a downright shame...

[TODD]
Shame?

[MRS. LOVETT]
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift
As a gift
If you get my drift

Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is
When you get it
If you get it...

[TODD]
Ah!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!

(simultaneously)

[TODD]
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

[MRS. LOVETT]
Well, it does seem a waste...

[TODD]
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Think about it...

[TODD]
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon be comin' for a shave
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

[TODD]
How choice!
How
Rare!
For what's the sound of the world out there?

[MRS. LOVETT]
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?

[TODD]
Those crunching noises pervading the air!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!

[TODD]
It's man devouring man, my dear!

[BOTH]
And/Then who are we to deny it in here?

[TODD, spoken]
These are desperate times
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for

[MRS. LOVETT]
Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!

[TODD]
What is that?

[MRS. LOVETT]
It's priest. Have a little priest

[TODD]
Is it really good?

[MRS. LOVETT]
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh

[TODD]
Awful lot of fat

[MRS. LOVETT]
Only where it sat

[TODD, spoken]
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

[MRS. LOVETT]
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

Lawyer's rather nice

[TODD]
If it's for a price

[MRS. LOVETT]
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice!

[TODD, spoken]
Anything that's lean?

[MRS. LOVETT]
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!

[TODD]
Is that squire, on the fire?

[MRS. LOVETT]
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer!

[TODD, spoken]
Looks thicker
More like vicar!

[MRS. LOVETT]
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!

[TODD]
The history of the world, my love --

[MRS. LOVETT]
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors!

[TODD]
Is those below serving those up above!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Ev'rybody shaves
So there should be plenty of flavors!

[TODD]
How gratifying for once to know

[BOTH]
That those above will serve those down below!

[TODD]
What is that?

[MRS. LOVETT]
It's fop
Finest in the shop
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily
Have one!

[TODD]
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Try the friar
Fried, it's drier!

[TODD]
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Then actor
It's compacter!

[TODD]
Ah but always arrives overdone!

(spoken)
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu!

(sung)
Have charity towards the world, my pet!

[MRS. LOVETT]
Yes, yes, I know, my love!

[TODD]
We'll take the customers that we can get!

[MRS. LOVETT]
High-born and low, my love!

[TODD]
We'll not discriminate great from small!
No, we'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone

[BOTH]
And to anyone
At all!