A Little Brain

In days gone by
An average sort of man
Would cause a girl to sigh
With pearl and Chinese fan

But now each gal wants something more
From the Love Canal to the Jersey Shore
And all of those gifts have fallen ineffectual
For the lady wants to love an intellectual

You’d like to get me into bed
Well I’ve got to know that you have read
Your Faulkner and your Proust and your Dos Passos

You can’t just touch me on the thigh
If you want me to satisfy your little guy
Unless you can hold forth about Dalís and Picassos

You want to get my hair in a tussle
Talk to me about Bеrtrand Russel
Share your point of view on marriagе and morals
[spoken] I adore that book!

Jewelry sure won’t do the trick
Red fox fur just makes me sick
But offer a list of your academic laurels

And soon, dear mister
You’ll make me weak in the patella
You’ll woo this sister
With a disquisition on Melville’s novella
Today, we play at a different kind of game
A fella’s gotta win his gal with a little brain

[spoken]
Now I’m known the world over as the thinking man’s stripper, but honey, it’s a two way street. When I look out at all you high brow mooks in elbow patches, oh I get all hot and bothered. It’s like a sea of tweed and herringbone. Ooh! Where’s a fan dancer when you need one?

Tell me you’ve got a PhD
On the use of phallic imagery
By 19th century symbolists in Brussels

Is your dissertation thick?
Does its substance really stick?
I measure my men by their pencils
And not by their muscles

And soon, dear mister
You’ll make me weak in the tibia
You’ll woo this sister
With a disquisition on [?] trivia
Today, we play at a different kind of game
A fella’s gotta win his gal with a little brain

I die for first rate prose
When men give me Dickens
How my river flows

It’s now somehow
I find British lit so stirring
Recite all night
And you’ll likely get me
Purring loudly next to you

And soon, dear mister
You’ll make me weak in the patella
You’ll woo this sister
With a reading from Balzac
Today, we play at a different kind of game
A fella’s gotta win his gal with a little brain
A fella’s gotta win his gal with a little brain

A fella’s gotta win, fella’s gotta win
Fella’s gotta win, fella’s gotta win
A fella’s gotta win his gal with a little
Brain