A Broken Jar

[Verse 1]
So, here goes: one last letter now
One last attempt to make sense
Who have I been writing to? I’m not sure anymore
What have I been trying to accomplish?
It’s a mystery, I guess. Self-made secrecy?
Things get cloudy and now all these stories and
The struggle as an undercurrent, both get blurry by the minute, both get blurrier
So which voice is this then that I’ve been writing in? Is it my own or his?
Has there ever been a difference between them at all? I don’t know
I don’t know
I don’t know

[Verse 2]
One last desperate plea. One last verse to sing
One last laugh track to accompany the comedy
Have I been losing it completely? Losing sanity?
Or has it been fabricated, fashioned by the worst of me?
I know I knocked the table over because I watched the jar break
And I’ve been trying to repair it every single stupid day
But won’t the cracks still show no matter how well it’s assembled?
Can I ever just decide to let it die and let you go?
All my motives and every single narrative below reflects
That moment when it broke
And will I never let it go no matter what?

Now I am throwing all the shards away
Discarding every fragment, and fumbling uncertain
Towards a curtain call that no one wants to happen
That no one’s going to clap for at all, but that still has to be