365x: 27

i don't know what to say
sometimes
this could be anywhere in the world
sometimes i struggle to ask for the things i want
i feel like i'm getting in the way
sometimes it's easier not to speak
a lot of the time i feel like i'm standing inches from a jenny holzer
trying to let it tell me something
only seeing fragments without context
PROTECT ME FROM WHAT I WANT
how to escape a feeling that everything is quickly replaceable
trying to learn how to sway in the breeze when necessary
for periods i felt powerless
i switched up the texture, switched up the priorities
regained a feeling of control but was bittersweet i couldn't bring everyone with me
like a child acting out to test the limits of the love from their parents
even when the love is revealed to be resilient,
everyone's exhausted
now caught in limbo
trying to hold on to an old life in a new world
salary your friends or lose touch with them
everything that doesnt demonstrate material growth is a demonstrable failure
on an endless ladder what rung could possibly bring happiness anyway?
the more you try to stretch these moments out and live in them, the faster they will all slip behind you
in climbing we are brought to life
one step closer to feeling heard without speaking
and emerging from the doldrums where this could be anywhere in the world
to a foundational:
i was here, and this mattered to me

[Outro]
I’ve got a lot on my head tonight
ICYMI
I WAS IN LOVE