Vocalise

You see, I need that sweet release, so give me a greasy beat
With a fat ass bass line, now that's my kinda treat
Don't give a fuck about what anyone else is doing
I'll just keep on spewing verse after verse
Until my brain feels like I'm abusing it
I'm losing it, I just can't stop
All the voices in my head are talking about is hip hop
I'm rhyming in my sleep when I should be counting sheep
Has this shit gone too deep, am I a broken fucking freak?
I can feel it in my veins, the words are screaming my name
You're one of us Project, and you'll never be the same
Am I insane? I'm working overtime
But it's poisoning my body like I'm stuck in a fucking sulphur mine
It's in the air I breathe, it's in the food I eat
It's in every single face I look up into in the streets
I need this, and maybe you don't understand
They're just words on a piece of paper written by a human hand
But fuck it, I've never wanted something so bad
I'll take my words to every city walking round just like a nomad
Cursing every motherfucker out who had doubt
About what I put my mind to, sit the fuck down
You frown at my choices in life, you're causing such a strife
Now every step that I'm taking is like I'm walking on a butcher knife
You're supposed to support me, not cut and distort me
But if you don't like the story, then turn the page and fucking abort me
I'm shaking with the rage that's bottled inside
But I brush it off like when I'm up in a club and I'm getting denied
But the music is my siren, she's not telling me lies
Cos now I start to see the secrets hidden between the lines
There's a message that's a blessing and I'm guessing it's just messing with me
And I'm progressing but I must confess that it distressingly
Is addressing me, with it's hooks in my mind
Picking apart the words and helping me to put them in time
So I guess I'm torn, is it an Angel or a Devil
Do I have to wrestle with this special vessel just to gain my mental medal
Is this God's plan? Is this what I was put here for?
To start a war inside my own head before I'm even twenty four
I'm drowning in a lake of lyrics, and no one else can hear it
I'll reach for help, but I guess that I'm just disappearing
I spend my days surrounded by lit screens and big dreams
A pen and a pad of paper, ripping my head apart at the seams
I'm not complaining, I'm just saying
That if you want something just take it, stop fucking playing
Games, get off your knees and stop praying, take the reins
Please pop the lid offa the box and start spraying
There's a reason you were given a talent, don't ever keep it silent
Unless it was something the population might consider violent
Nah fuck it, if cage fighting is legal
And they can beat each other half to death then fly like a fucking eagle
My tracks always come back to one message in fact
I'm verbalising what I think to make an impact
And the recurring theme that's haunting me is about a lack
Of ambition for my mission, trying to take my soul back
I don't vocalise, vocal lies, I'm here to spit the truth
So take a look into my eyes and in due time you'll see the proof
That one day I'm breaking the bars holding me into this prison
But I'll never second guess the decision to remain driven
I don't need a triangle to make me who I need to be
I'll tear the skin off my own back before I drop down to my knees
And claim the talent that I have came from anyone else but me
And that's not arrogance, I'm feeling like I might have found the key
To my sanity, fuck your vanity, I'm not sorry for the profanities
If you want clean cut music and you can't stand the audacity
Of what I'm saying, then turn your radio on
Cos I'll never make it there with such a fucked up song