University of Shitfaced

Welcome students it’s sure nice to see you at this year’s orientation
Let me serve up some cocktails and fun facts on why our fine school’s #1

Evan Williams, he founded this school, way back in 1988
Then he moved to his grandmother’s basement
Where you can find him to this day

Our school colors are gold, green and black
For beer and vomit and hangovers
Our school mascot is Ghangi the cat he gets high on catnip and clovers

I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree

Our school fountain it pisses a stream of cheap wine and cigarette butts
All the coеds that walk around campus are cheap lousy obnoxious sluts

Therе’s school spirits at every event
The stands are all packed with fun lovers
In the games we’re too drunk to fight back
But we celebrate when it’s over

I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree

Our professors they don’t give a damn
About you, your goals, or your grades
They spend all their time toasted
And macking on freshmen so they can get laid

That’s a dumb question I’m real glad you asked
There is no library dumbass
If by some chance you make it to class
You have to pass out just to pass

Your tuition is just the bar tab so go out and have a good time
But at this point you don’t realize you’ll pay for the rest of your life

I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree
I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree

Go Fight Win, room will spin
Nothing more fun than drunk driving
Through a fence into a yard
Grab another beer and party hard

Go Fight Win, get bed spins
Wake up on the bathroom floor again
Take some Meth or Vicodin
Find your clothes and start again

I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree
I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree