The Ballad Of Cornbread Horton

She walked into the tavern
I was playing some nine ball
She made me scratch
Knew I had to have her
I don't take "No" for an answer
But that's (?)
I started setting my traps
And making my advance
I bought a round of margaritas
She admired my chest
(?)

Will you ride with me in my LTD
Will you ride with me
Now will you ride with me

She said "No" and
And changed the conversation
So I thought I'd show
A little dose of some healthy persuation
But there were complications and witnesses
Certain limitations but the fuse was lit
Still I hit the ignition like a 7-10 split
"Do I impress you now?"
She said, "I highly doubt it."
Will you ride with me in my LTD
Will you ride with me
Now will you ride with me
Will you ride with me in my LTD
Will you ride with me
Now will you ride with me

Fuck the jaws of life, bring me a cigarette
I need a, I need a, I need a beer and a smoke
Cuz I ain't finished yet
A man comes with a stretcher but I ain't feelin' it
Motherfucker, fuck the oxygen mask, bring me a cigarette
Fuck the oxygen mask, bring me a cigarette
Fuck the oxygen mask, bring me a cigarette

Beneath the moon and the stars
As we drove through Sagimaw County
Tried to exit the car
She ain't goin' nowhere without me
Don't you doubt me
All around me like some 'CHiPs' episode
(?)
Told myself to just relax
Don't worry, you better hold on
Going through this barricade
So put your seatbelt on, Sugar
Will you ride with me in my LTD
Gas, grass, or ass
No one rides for free

Will you ride with me in my LTD
Will you ride with me
Now will you ride with me
Will you ride with me in my LTD
Will you ride with me
Will you ride with me
Now will you ride with me