Intro / Dead People

Louis C.K.: Thank you, thank—
Thank you very much
Thank you
Hello, everybody
Hello, I mean, by everybody I mean, you guys
I mean everybody who's here
I shouldn't say everybody because most people are not here
By a pretty huge majority
Most people are not here
Most people are in China, actually
That's true
Actually, that's not true
Most people are dead
Did you know that?
It's true, out of all the people that ever were
Almost all of them are dead
There are way more dead people
And you're all gonna die
And then, you're gonna be dead for way longer than you're alive
Like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be
You're just dead people that didn't die yet, that's
There are so many dead people
Ray Charles is dead
Hitler
A bunch of other ones
But mostly those two guys
And, it's true Ray Charles and Hitler are both dead
And really, that's the only thing they have in common
Because otherwise, they're very different dudes
Many contrasts between Hitler and Ray Charle—
I'm gonna tell you a few of 'em
Ray Charles was black, Hitler was not
Hitler killed several Jews
Too many, I'll say too many
He killed an excessive amount of Jews
He really beat that thing to the ground
He killed—
Just no moderation
Ray Charles, meanwhile, hardly any Jews
He killed so few Jews