Conspiracy Theories

(Verse) I've heard Damo's got an album coming out real soon
I've heard his parents had to keep him locked up in a stilt [?] room
I've heard that he turned crazy after taking too much Panadol
I've heard he's a member of the secret Satanic cult
I've heard he lives up north in an old tip truck [?]
I've heard he's a murderer, that a witness just come forward
I heard he's really insane, I've heard he's cryptically strange
I've heard God had to lift his brain in his skull with a crane
I've heard he's a member of Mansa [?], I've heard he's friends with the [?]
I've heard he lives off the premise of being an eccentric inventor
I've heard he's a volatile freak that's got a college degree
I've heard he's actually a distant relative of Solid Mc
I've he fills up his pen cartridges with rappers' blood
I've heard he's a bikie--that sells guns and traffics drugs
I've heard he's a demented ex-pilot with an ill penchant for violence
I've heard Simplex [?] picks the a capellas up from a mental asylum
I've heard he was in a bad state, at a government lab base
I've heard he lost both legs in an illegal street drag race
I've heard he unleashed a tirade against Live Aid
I've heard he was injected with the cells of Einstein's brain in the ninth grade
I've heard he's an evil [?], I've heard he owns Jesus' kneebone [?]
I've heard he screwed Delta Goodrum while she was receiving chemo
I've heard he was a top secret experiment gone bad
I've heard he was the target of a Carlton Crew murder contract
I've heard that he's a computer geek, I've heard he's got the hugest teeth
I've heard that he used to teach, I've heard he writes his own music sheets
I've heard that he's an average bloke and that he's really quite boring
I've heard the guys from Hilltop Hoods write his rhymes for him
I've heard he's a romantic gentleman that likes talking
I've heard he's got a small penis but his balls are ginormous
I've heard he owns a spacious mansion, that his last name is Hanson
I've heard he gets off on raping bands and imitating Manson
I've heard he's holding Falcone on interstate for ransom
I've heard he does [?] in alleys and strips naked Branson
I've heard he's involved in Snowtown, and still goes round to kill fags
I've heard he supplied Schapelle Corby with that vacuum sealed bag
I've heard he's a small Asian bloke who thinks Romper Stomper's cool
I've heard Paris Hilton fingers herself to his poster hanging on the wall
I've heard he's a villainous destroyer, that he's a train station piss and boil
I've heard he planted the Bali bombs, I've heard he's David Hicks' lawyer
I've heard that he's an Arab pilot disguised as a battle rhymer
I've heard he's heard that I know he's a Roswell crash survivor
I've heard that MC Fuck Everyone is really his crazy evil twin
And that he's got a burial ground under his house for those that beef with him
I've heard he's got twelve kids all born with horns on their forehead
I've heard he's a miraculous survivor of 9/11 that was thought dead
I've heard Doctor Frankenstein's his manager
I've heard that he actually [?] the family that descended from the bloodline of Dracula
I've never he's never left his home
I've heard the new records don't
I've heard he's made genetic clones of his flesh and bones to rep for shows
I've heard he exhumed Shakespeare's remains and resurrected him
And that we're listening to the lyrics of the bar when the record spins
I've heard he's Pegz' ghostwriter and that he's an Allen Poe biter
I've heard he was hired by millions of dope rhymers to make their flow tighter
I've heard that he's got the IQ of Isaac Newton but times two
I've heard that his whole house is actually one great big mic booth
I've heard all of his fans are constantly being lied to
That Damo is actually a forty-year-old American white dude
I've heard he was a spoilt rich kid that died in a ski resort
And that his album was written posthumously on a Ouija board
I've heard he's a German engineer designing weapons for NATO
I've heard you shouldn't really believe everything you hear about Damo