You Still Believe in Me?

I came in from the storm and the television's on
As celebrities enact fictionalized tales
How could my boring life compete?

And I thought about the drugs
How I thought they fixed my brain
Until I was in the dark
Rattling containers, scribbling garbage to myself:

I need constant attention or else I'm gonna get distracted
But even if you tell me something, I can't guarantee I'm listening
I hear "BA BA BA BA BA"

I've never been in love but I saw Brian Wilson once
I was drunk and screamed too loud over the falsetto in "You Still Believe in Me."
And I thought about the way his catastrophes made everything okay
'Til I watched the fire fade and former dayglo embers turned to ashy grays and blacks
One exhausted triple encore, unplugged bass around his neck
I know fires can last forever, but I need to find a match cause these days, fuck, I'm tired

I used to be an awesome listener
But now I just drift in and out or get pulled away by beats and measures
Like I don't have a choice but failure and running from a brighter future

It's never take me back, never take me back, never take me back
'Cause I'm not sorry
Never take me back, never take me back, never take me back
'Cause I'm not sorry
You would never take me back, never take me back, never take me back
'Cause I'm not sorry for all the times I ran away and wasted my vacation days
It's something I can't bring myself to say

I need constant attention or else I'm gonna get distracted
But even if you tell me something, I can't guarantee I'm listening
And these days, fuck, I'm tired
I used to be an awesome listener
But now I just drift in or out or get pulled away by beats and measures
Like I don't have a choice but failure and running from a brighter future

And all the times I ran away and wasted my vacation days
"I'm sorry" is something I can never say