The Mourning

[Verse 1]
I remember when I wasn't jaded
I remember when "I love this" was an understatement
I remember when my heart wasn't corroded
& I wouldn't question everybody's motives
I'm bending rules to break my neck
Avoiding disappointments
Because you can't be let down if you don't expect, like they owe you
Still trying to get over my last one
Not sure if she's the last one
Or if these are the feels pulling a fast one
I'm on the road to Damascus with a mask on
Hoping that this won't last long
Fasting, trying to master what I stand on
You ever have the Lord grab hold of what inspires you
Now it divides you, it tires you, it lied to you
No longer am I consumed with what I would do
My eyes consumed with what I admire
Instead of finding You
I heard all's fair in love & war
Praying to be content & not love the more

[Hook]

I know where i been & i know where i'm going
My enemies are before me & below me

[Verse 2]
My daughter body changing
& in a moment
I'll go to jail if anyone besides me notices
I don't need another word
I need manifestation of what I've already heard
I need Jesus now, not a noun but a verb
Wanna observe if what I've learned is what I nurtured
I wrestle with inertia
I'm a nerd that tends to worship the worst of me
Way beyond what words can see
I wish I could return to that kid who knew what he wanted
Confronted with what I loved & realized that I ain't want it
Tired of complaining
Tired of being the victim
Only seeing the problem
Not sure how to fix it
Or, you have the solution & don't wanna uncover it
Because mediocrity brings you comfort
Don't wanna confront it
I'm more than a number on a jumper
Praying that i would lust for the love of it