Zero Sum

Early morning sidewalk sticky like blood
Caroline's cat hissed when I woke up
Slipping half the sugar dish into my cup
Shaking out my fists 'til they loosen up

Nick Drake singing in the present tense
Got kind worried 'cause the lyrics started making sense
Every browning leaf is an electric shock
And every queued song is a gun cocked

And there's an excess energy curdling sleep
And I can't drive when it bites into my feet
Yeah my arm's still numb where you didn't sleep
My shoulder still aches where you didn't lean

Fall is tugging on my nerves like a sweater sleeve
A slipped stitch every time I wish I didn't leave
Does your head still hurt when you think of me
Yeah my head still hurts when I think of me

Creep out of my house on tiptoe
Don't wanna go anywhere you might go
Sneak around the city scared you'll pop out
When did every coffeeshop become a haunted house

Every other person is a papercut and
Every other lover draws a little blood
But it takes my mind off you
No one ever takes my mind off you

I know I never wrote about us when we were in love
Guess I was holding in my breath until the sun was up
Didn't think I'd be alone now to see it come
Or think I'd leave the tunnel with a zero sum

Oh how I wish that god had given us a normal one
And he'd stuck around to account for what he'd done
Yeah you still feel realer now than anyone
I'm still peeling after sleeping in your sun

Checking every memory for a freezer burn
Tossing out the ones that make my stomach turn
Study all our dates to see if we'll get old
I didn't save enough of you to get me through the cold