‍young thoughts (interlude)

[Verse 1]
These moments will be forgotten
I’ve been feeling weird recently as if growth lies somewhere between acknowledging the temporary nature of everything and believing that time doesn’t even exist
As a child I tried to teach myself piano but wound up on a clarinet
My overripe finger bones could not fathom dancing that way
They trembled at the thought of making love to those keys
They trembled at the thought of making love but love I am, and love I make
Always leaving a trail of it wherever I go
I am lactose intolerant but someone once told me I resemble Swiss cheese, co-existing as holy and full of holes
My holiness comes from manifestation, I decided I was holy at a young age and have since not been filled
Little pockets of emptiness decorate my left arm and they will stay empty and I will keep them empty
Empty and painless
I realise I took those killers to take the pain
I realise that it’s not the healthiest coping mechanism but what would you recommend?
It’s irrelevant as long as there’s the rise and fall of your chest
And we rise, and we fall. We ebb and we flow
My feelings much like the ocean, cast shadows of confusion on tiny tugboats of certainty
I am only certain I feel confusion
I am confused about my vision
Lately my sight has changed to hazy
Every second I find focus it slowly deteriorates and phases into a mush of, “can I be that?” and “am I capable?” and also sometimes “will I ever be enough?” and also other times it’s just a bit of smoke in my eye
It’s sometimes best to forget what was
It’s sometimes best to look only forward towards endless fields of what might be and could become, and it’s sometimes best to reflect
To see what was in all it’s gory glory and to recognise its nature interwoven in your story
Your tapestry, that when rolled out covers the entire length of the Bondi Macca’s and our couch
Perfectly positioned in front of the T.V. to make it easier to see less and sink quicker, straight into its numbing warm depths away from the fear and from the stress
I’ve always liked T.V